Some of us are getting soft from being yhome during covid, & with the gums closed.

I went & researched some of the most common questions people have about their health:

**** Health Question & Answer Session:

-------------> 1 <--------------
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it ... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
-------------> 2 <---------------
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. -------------> 3 <---------------
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
-------------> 4 <---------------
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
-------------> 5 <---------------
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain ... Good!
-------------> 6 <---------------
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
-------------> 7 <---------------
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
-------------> 8 <---------------
Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
-------------> 9 <---------------
Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
-------------> 10 <---------------
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Some of us are getting soft from being yhome during covid, & with the
gyms closed.

It really is a sucky situation.

**** Health Question & Answer Session:

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this
true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it ... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken while driving. <G>
I can relate to the fast heart...atrial flutter is not fun, when it
sped mine up to 155 beats per minute. Medication has stabilized it,
where I don't need ablation surgery right now.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

The cows want you go to Chick-Fil-A...but they're closed on Sunday.
Plus, around central Arkansas, the dining rooms are still closed, but
you can eat at the outdoor tables, or get it at the drive thru.

<--------------- Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at
all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Bottoms up?? That's when you fold the gypsies over, so their butt
cracks are above ground, so folks have a place to park their bicycles
when they're done riding them. <G>

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body
and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies,
your ratio is two to one, etc.

I'm not in the best of shape, but for the shape I'm in, I'm in great
shape. Besides...round is a shape...and I believe in the balanced diet; balanced in the belly and in the butt cheeks. <G>

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain ... Good!

Men are wimps when it comes to pain...and I freely admit that.

Several years ago, when I was in the Emergency Room with a catheter
and severe bladder spasms, I was in tears, and screaming in agonizing pain...naked on a hard exam table. Finally, these two good looking
female nurses walked in, and they said "You're not going to like us".
I replied "I'll kiss you if you make the pain go away". They said
"We have something for the pain, but it's an OVERSIZED SUPPOSITORY".
They gave a whole new meaning to the words "SHOVE IT!!" (up the
anus and rectum)...but it got rid of the pain.

Nudity means nothing to the medical professionals, but I had a
friend who refused to go to the doctor, clinic, etc., because he
didn't want the folks (especially the females) to see him naked.
I could not convince him that "it's just another day at work for them"...basically the same as a parent changing their child's diaper.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Only if they're vegetables you don't like. :P

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

It's hard enough to sit up at the table to eat. <G> Then, after you
have a big Thanksgiving Dinner, it's time for "a turkey coma". :P

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans!
Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!

It does have caffeine...but I've heard that dark chocolate once a
month can be good for you. Yet, too much caffeine can cause a rapid
heartbeat (been there, done that, with drinking too much diet green
tea).

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

You're just blubbering now. <G>

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

That's what I noted earlier.

Daryl

... Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken while driving. <G>
I can relate to the fast heart...atrial flutter is not fun, when it
sped mine up to 155 beats per minute. Medication has stabilized it,
where I don't need ablation surgery right now.

I'm glad they've got it stabilized for you. . . :) Because I have a long-QT(I told my doctor "thank you" when she told me this.) i have to call 911 any time I pop into a bit of tachycardia. Happened once so far, but things seem stable now with current regimen of pills.

The cows want you go to Chick-Fil-A...but they're closed on Sunday.
Plus, around central Arkansas, the dining rooms are still closed, but
you can eat at the outdoor tables, or get it at the drive thru.

Like the cartoon(possibly "Far Side") of the cows writing on the wall aloongside a freeway: "ET MOR CHIKEN" (cows are notoriouisly bad spellers, in English)

Bottoms up?? That's when you fold the gypsies over, so their butt
cracks are above ground, so folks have a place to park their bicycles
when they're done riding them. <G>

& the Muslims these days just make it too easy for cyclists!

I'm not in the best of shape, but for the shape I'm in, I'm in great shape. Besides...round is a shape...and I believe in the balanced diet; balanced in the belly and in the butt cheeks. <G>

I thought a balanced diet was a triple burger in one hand and a quart of beer in the other?

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain ... Good!

Men are wimps when it comes to pain...and I freely admit that.

I've been forced to deal with so much I don't even pay attenton too much any more, exceprt on the wekend when I hit a new "10" threshhold for pain. Passing a shgard of kidney stone the ladt two inches. It scraped & tore, but I knew the only way to be free of torment was to get it out, so I bore down & bit mty teetjh together & barely held bnack from screaming, as it shotr out full speed, followed by a stream of bloody urine. & ahhh, once that pain settled. . .

Got to finally relax & enjoy the weekend.

Several years ago, when I was in the Emergency Room with a catheter
and severe bladder spasms, I was in tears, and screaming in agonizing pain...naked on a hard exam table. Finally, these two good looking
female nurses walked in, and they said "You're not going to like us".
I replied "I'll kiss you if you make the pain go away". They said
"We have something for the pain, but it's an OVERSIZED SUPPOSITORY".
They gave a whole new meaning to the words "SHOVE IT!!" (up the
anus and rectum)...but it got rid of the pain.

Ouch. I've not had that experience. So far I've been lucky & all catheter insertions have been done while I was knocked out. They forgot my sdtent from my last kidny stone blasting, so my wiofe had to draw it out (she looked it up on YouTube & did it, as directed, ever s slowly (so as to not tear any new exits) & hauled almost a yard of tubing out of my sheckle!

Nudity means nothing to the medical professionals, but I had a
friend who refused to go to the doctor, clinic, etc., because he
didn't want the folks (especially the females) to see him naked.
I could not convince him that "it's just another day at work for them"...basically the same as a parent changing their child's diaper.

Yup -- I'm used to it now, but still get nervous around the young pretty ones (I'm still a man in reasonable working order, & responding as Nature intended to such is still a lead-in to embarrassment., I'm sure that's no biggie either. Onme morning, for catheter removal, they nurse came in JUST after I woke up. I tried to stammer, "Not now, I just woke up, can you come back in a half hour?"

She brightly replied, "Don't worry; that just males it easier," & reached under the covers & >plip<, out it came!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Only if they're vegetables you don't like. :P

They're still good for you, just not "good" by you. . . I'm not a veggie fan, I admit it. I like spinach & Brussels Sprouts only. Thery're so paxcked with the B vitamins, I shouldn't eat more than once a week (B vitamins are stored in liver, so stick around for a while, unlike C)

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

It's hard enough to sit up at the table to eat. <G> Then, after you
have a big Thanksgiving Dinner, it's time for "a turkey coma". :P

I do one situp a day; I did the first half already, earlier, & will complete it tonight when I got to bed.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!

It does have caffeine...but I've heard that dark chocolate once a
month can be good for you. Yet, too much caffeine can cause a rapid heartbeat (been there, done that, with drinking too much diet green
tea).

Yup, & had it confirmed by my GP: one ounce of dark chocolate a da is good for you. As is one glass of red wine.

The trick is keeping both to those limits only.

I came up with putting a spoonful of mini dark chocolate chips on my breakfast cereal(cold) & taught my son the same.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

You're just blubbering now. <G>

Sure, why not? Whale, I'll be!

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

That's what I noted earlier.

& it seems our anonymous health writer agrees.

... Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

Bumper snicker: Nuke the gay whales for Jesus.

Have you seen Star Trek IV movioe? The only one I liked from their (Original Series) movies. . . Spock was funny as all, in 1980s Los Angeles!

Helps if you're familiar with the original series & characters.

Q: What did Captain Kirk say to Spock who was hanging off a cliff?
A: Just Klingon, I'll go & find help.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I'm glad they've got it stabilized for you. . . :) Because I have a long-QT(I told my doctor "thank you" when she told me this.) i have to call 911 any time I pop into a bit of tachycardia. Happened once so
far, but things seem stable now with current regimen of pills.

The heart rate yesterday was 80 (still normal), but lately, with the medication, has been in the 50's and 60's. That's a lot better than 155!!

Like the cartoon(possibly "Far Side") of the cows writing on the wall aloongside a freeway: "ET MOR CHIKEN" (cows are notoriouisly bad
spellers, in English)

I love their 30 piece nuggets meal.

& the Muslims these days just make it too easy for cyclists!

No comment...although "a butt is a butt is a butt...but..." <G>

I thought a balanced diet was a triple burger in one hand and a quart
of beer in the other?

Or a dozen chocolate iced donuts, and a Diet Dr. Pepper. <G>

I've been forced to deal with so much I don't even pay attenton too
much any more, exceprt on the wekend when I hit a new "10" threshhold
for pain. Passing a shgard of kidney stone the ladt two inches. It scraped & tore, but I knew the only way to be free of torment was to
get it out, so I bore down & bit mty teetjh together & barely held
bnack from screaming, as it shotr out full speed, followed by a stream
of bloody urine. & ahhh, once that pain settled. . .

My late mother-in-law said "Maybe you're having a male period". :P

Ouch. I've not had that experience. So far I've been lucky & all
catheter insertions have been done while I was knocked out. They
forgot my sdtent from my last kidny stone blasting, so my wiofe had to draw it out (she looked it up on YouTube & did it, as directed, ever s slowly (so as to not tear any new exits) & hauled almost a yard of
tubing out of my sheckle!

At least now, they only use catheters when absolutely necessary, as
they're an infection risk. With drinking 1 to 2 quarts of lemonade
flavored Kool-Aid a day, I'm having no problem with peeing. But overnight, something set my colon off, and I had diarrhea for 15 minutes...I thought
I was prepping for the colonoscopy. Thank goodness for Immodium!!

I had a telemedicine conference earlier today, and they recommended I
get a COVID-19 booster shot, as it has been six months, I have a high BMI,
and I have hypertension...even though I'm only 61. But, I've been having
a hard time finding a place that gives it. However, with stormy weather forecast here into Friday, and with needing some other refills soon, I'm
going to wait a little bit before I do it...even though it has been just
about 6 months since I've had the second Pfizer shot. But, I'd be stuck
at home for 2 weeks once I got the booster.

She brightly replied, "Don't worry; that just males it easier," &
reached under the covers & >plip<, out it came!

There's a study in contrast...coming out versus going in. That applies
to catheters, and pregnancy...but in opposite directions. With the catheter it's uncomfortable coming out, but worse going in. With pregancy, it hurts
more delivering the baby than intercourse. And, there's a town named Intercourse in Pennsylvania. I wonder if there are any other cities that
got "screwed" with that name?? <G>

They're still good for you, just not "good" by you. . . I'm not a
veggie fan, I admit it. I like spinach & Brussels Sprouts only.

You can have mine.

I do one situp a day; I did the first half already, earlier, & will complete it tonight when I got to bed.

There you go.

Yup, & had it confirmed by my GP: one ounce of dark chocolate a da is
good for you. As is one glass of red wine.

I was never one for either one of those.

& it seems our anonymous health writer agrees.

Doctor Quackenbush (aka Groucho Marx)...who said "Either this man is dead,
or my watch is stopped". <G>

Have you seen Star Trek IV movioe? The only one I liked from their (Original Series) movies. . . Spock was funny as all, in 1980s Los Angeles!

I was never a Star Trek fan...my late wife was, though.

Daryl

... What do people in China call their good plates?
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

The heart rate yesterday was 80 (still normal), but lately, with the medication, has been in the 50's and 60's. That's a lot better than 155!!

My BP is high ebnd of normal, but my pulse is quite low; my doc said don't worry; hers is normally in 30s or low 40s & she hgas to warn them when going into surgery that this is normal & not requiring medical intervention/response.

Some people just have a slow pulse rate!

I told her mine is the pulse of a well-tuned athlete, but I have the body of a sumo wannabe.

Like the cartoon(possibly "Far Side") of the cows writing on the wall aloongside a freeway: "ET MOR CHIKEN" (cows are notoriouisly bad spellers, in English)

I love their 30 piece nuggets meal.

Whose? I like Burger King's as they use dark meat in theirs not only white like McDonalds switched to.

I thought a balanced diet was a triple burger in one hand and a quart of beer in the other?

Or a dozen chocolate iced donuts, and a Diet Dr. Pepper. <G>

Oh, I useds to be bad; at 7pm the next door grocerey would mark the bulk yeast doughnuts down to 20c each (from 95c+) & I'd get 12 (buy 6 & there's no sales tax, so 6 for bedtime snack & 6 for breakfast-- not a healthy lifestyle choice, as it turns out)

I've been forced to deal with so much I don't even pay attenton too much any more, exceprt on the wekend when I hit a new "10" threshhold for pain. Passing a shgard of kidney stone the ladt two inches. It scraped & tore, but I knew the only way to be free of torment was to get it out, so I bore down & bit mty teetjh together & barely held bnack from screaming, as it shotr out full speed, followed by a stream of bloody urine. & ahhh, once that pain settled. . .

My late mother-in-law said "Maybe you're having a male period". :P

I've been calling it that. :D

At least now, they only use catheters when absolutely necessary, as they're an infection risk. With drinking 1 to 2 quarts of lemonade
flavored Kool-Aid a day, I'm having no problem with peeing. But overnight, something set my colon off, and I had diarrhea for 15 minutes...I thought
I was prepping for the colonoscopy. Thank goodness for Immodium!!

I'm often a candidate for a necessary catheter or stent, & I still don't like them. I really dislike feeling the need to void & the nurse tells me to just go, right there, as Ik'm lying in bed. This is HARD!

I had a telemedicine conference earlier today, and they recommended I
get a COVID-19 booster shot, as it has been six months, I have a high BMI, and I have hypertension...even though I'm only 61. But, I've been having
a hard time finding a place that gives it. However, with stormy weather forecast here into Friday, and with needing some other refills soon, I'm going to wait a little bit before I do it...even though it has been just about 6 months since I've had the second Pfizer shot. But, I'd be stuck
at home for 2 weeks once I got the booster.

hypertension is a family thing for me, but I'm on good meds or it now & keeping it in check (within normal range--we(my wife & I) check it once a week, to keep an eye in case it starts to go up again.)

There's a study in contrast...coming out versus going in. That applies
to catheters, and pregnancy...but in opposite directions. With the catheter it's uncomfortable coming out, but worse going in. With pregancy, it hurts more delivering the baby than intercourse. And, there's a town named Intercourse in Pennsylvania. I wonder if there are any other cities that
got "screwed" with that name?? <G>

Climax, PA is in that area, too. We have the town(village?) of Dildo in Newfoundland (it's just an oarlock, & it's an old fishing town)

I just checked with Google & it's a 4h23m drive from intercourse to climax (in Penn's Syvania)

I have heard of women like that! :D

Yup, & had it confirmed by my GP: one ounce of dark chocolate a da is good for you. As is one glass of red wine.

I was never one for either one of those.

No worries; other ways to get antioxidants.

one glass of red wine a day is healthier than 2 & likewise hgealtrhier than none. Ditto for the dark chocolate (milk is mostly sugar--not so good for you)

... What do people in China call their good plates?

just "plates" or "porcelains"(in Mandarin, of course), maybe?

Care to learn Chinese in 5 minutes?

It's very dark in here Wai So Dim?
Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni
See me A.S.A.P. Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Gai
Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?
Has your flight been delayed? Hao Long Wei Ting?
Your price is too high!! No Bai De Thing!!
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift Chin Tu Fat
I am not guilty Wai Hang Mi?
That was an unauthorized execution Lin Ching
This is a tow away zone. No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright Yu So Dum
I thought you were on a diet Wai Yu Mun Ching?
I got this for free Ai No Pei
Please, stay a while longer. Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka

There you have it!

& the Chinese word for "virgin" is "tu yung"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Some people just have a slow pulse rate!

That's the first time I've heard of that.

Whose? I like Burger King's as they use dark meat in theirs not only
white like McDonalds switched to.

Burger King. I remember when they came out with their original chicken sandwich in the late 70's and early 80's. Many nights, I was the only
white guy on the crew, and we had a ball. A fellow black cashier, George Williams...was a card. He called out an order and said "Chicken. Make it
all white meat". He busted out laughing, and everyone else did as well. <G>

Oh, I useds to be bad; at 7pm the next door grocerey would mark the
bulk yeast doughnuts down to 20c each (from 95c+) & I'd get 12 (buy 6 & there's no sales tax, so 6 for bedtime snack & 6 for breakfast-- not a healthy lifestyle choice, as it turns out)

Food is food...especially when you get the munchies. <G>

I've been calling it that. :D

I never made fun of my wife when she cramped. My IBS abdominal cramps
were far worse.

I'm often a candidate for a necessary catheter or stent, & I still
don't like them. I really dislike feeling the need to void & the nurse tells me to just go, right there, as Ik'm lying in bed. This is HARD!

That's like them asking to pee on your back...it can't be done. After I
had a cardiac catheterization done, and I ending up peeing in the bed (I
was stuck on my back), the nurse asked "Did we spring a leak??", and I
growled "No, I felt like pissing the bed". :P

What was worse was another time, they had me on NPO (nothing by mouth),
as the ultrasound of my abdomen looked like my appendix was inflamed, and they'd have to do surgery (that didn't need to be done). But, this nurse
walked in, and said "We need a stool sample". I growled "Where do you think
I'm going to get it?? From the bed pan in the next room?? You haven't fed
me in 3 days". She lamented "Well, you can't manufacture it if you ain't
got it". They gave me some lime jello to "get what they wanted". I lost
10 pounds the hard way that week.

hypertension is a family thing for me, but I'm on good meds or it now & keeping it in check (within normal range--we(my wife & I) check it once
a week, to keep an eye in case it starts to go up again.)

My late father and late grandmother had it. I'm not sure if my brother has
it or not.

Climax, PA is in that area, too. We have the town(village?) of Dildo
in Newfoundland (it's just an oarlock, & it's an old fishing town)

Never mind wanting a sexy place to live. <G>

I just checked with Google & it's a 4h23m drive from intercourse to
climax (in Penn's Syvania)

That sounds like a good item for trivial pursuit. <G>

I have heard of women like that! :D

No worries; other ways to get antioxidants.

I saw a commercial for Pedigree dog food, and this dachshund puppy
was looking so worried, as he said "Oh, antioxidants help me live
longer. I thought you said anti-dachshunds". <G>

Care to learn Chinese in 5 minutes?

It's very dark in here Wai So Dim?
Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni
See me A.S.A.P. Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Gai
Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?
Has your flight been delayed? Hao Long Wei Ting?
Your price is too high!! No Bai De Thing!!
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift Chin Tu Fat
I am not guilty Wai Hang Mi?
That was an unauthorized execution Lin Ching
This is a tow away zone. No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright Yu So Dum
I thought you were on a diet Wai Yu Mun Ching?
I got this for free Ai No Pei
Please, stay a while longer. Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka

There you have it!

Ah so!! <G>

& the Chinese word for "virgin" is "tu yung"

That sums it up.

Daryl

... A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Burger King. I remember when they came out with their original chicken sandwich in the late 70's and early 80's. Many nights, I was the only
white guy on the crew, and we had a ball. A fellow black cashier, George Williams...was a card. He called out an order and said "Chicken. Make it
all white meat". He busted out laughing, and everyone else did as well. <G>

Hpefully he wasn't usding paedo slamg: chickenmeat means an underage lad.

I founfd that out second-hand. My group home brother went with the psarent inoto the vbig ciuty to pick soime tyhing up, in walking a shortcut to get to the parking lot where the van was, they went through the gay district (West End, as in most big cities) & someone hollered out a window at Kevin: "WHOO_EE, CHICKENMEAT, HONEY!!"; the parent explained the slang to Kevin who was pissed for the next few weeks, especially as the rest of us had a new daily-use nickname for him!

He was deffo white meat only. I knew his mom & she was Mayflower white, IYKWIM.

Oh, I useds to be bad; at 7pm the next door grocerey would mark the bulk yeast doughnuts down to 20c each (from 95c+) & I'd get 12 (buy 6 & there's no sales tax, so 6 for bedtime snack & 6 for breakfast-- not a healthy lifestyle choice, as it turns out)

Food is food...especially when you get the munchies. <G>

But moderation is the key. I'll enjoy the occasional yeast doughnut now, but only one full sized one at a time. I just had a nice caramel-filled maple-nut doughnut for breakfast!

I believe in: Moderation in everythinng, including(or especially) moderation itself. (we've all been annoyed by one of those "I never..." people. . .)

I believe God put everything here for us, but sometimes the item is best shunned for our greater good (like refined opioid drugs, & goatsex)

Cocaleaves are fine when chewed by those working in the mountains of South America, but they're not getting huge doses of the alkaloid eating them fresh, & likely getting healthy vitamins, too, & the enzymes needed to safely break down the alkaloid components. Used like this, they've a moderation dose, but refined into pure white powder & snorted, the recommended moderation level is zero, & I'm good with that.

Tobacco was fine when the firsdt nations used it rarely for ceremonial purposes, but then Eurotrash refined it & made it stronger, packing it into burnable tubes, & nicotine addiction was born. I used to smoke (quite heavily: 50-60 cigs/day) & swen I finally quit, thanks unto God, I realized my moderation level is zero.

I'fd love to e able to smoke a pipe on rare occasions, but that breaks my chosen moderation level, so I don't. (not worth the risk of getting addicted again, especially, as that would be a slap in the face to the One who helped me get free of it)

I used to be a Mennonite, & their policy is complete teetotalling, so I kept my occasional indulgence of alcohol on the DL; ditto when I used to hang around a bunch of people in AA.

The Mennonites knew I smoked & after a discussion with the elders, I kept it out of sight of the church, & I was still admitted as a full voting/communing member. They also helped me get off the habit, financially, by paying for the patches I used (expensive to my meager budget)

Will have been tobacco-free for 28 years this coming August!

Such a good feeling. I respect others makng their free choice to smoke, so long as they respect me, & others.

The church had a beef with smoking, but God was okay with me, at times, so longb as I did so in a manner that showed my alleguance to Him. One time I was right out of cigs & tobacco, with no money due for a while,m so I prayed for help; True story: 4 hours later I get a knock on my door by a down the hall neighbour who knew I smoked & had an extra carton, & would I like it, free of chsarge?

Not just what I asked for, but delivery, too! God really knows how to answer prayer!

Doesn't meamn everyone should ask for addictive substabnces, of course, because He & I had an understanding, I believe. Every person is different & unique in His sight.

I've been calling it that. :D

I never made fun of my wife when she cramped. My IBS abdominal cramps
were far worse.

My wife's are mild enough, but my daughter gets them bad; I have nothing but sympathy/empathy, of course. Renal Colic can feel like my guts are making their escape by firing cannonnballs using a trebuchet sat my gut walls.

That's like them asking to pee on your back...it can't be done. After I had a cardiac catheterization done, and I ending up peeing in the bed (I
was stuck on my back), the nurse asked "Did we spring a leak??", and I growled "No, I felt like pissing the bed". :P

I have to get help rolling onto my side. When they wanted a stool sample, they had to put the bed's head up to max, so I was basically sitting.

Climax, PA is in that area, too. We have the town(village?) of Dildo in Newfoundland (it's just an oarlock, & it's an old fishing town)

Never mind wanting a sexy place to live. <G>

Rowboat accessories are sexy?! You live a lonely life, my friend! ;)

I just checked with Google & it's a 4h23m drive from intercourse to climax (in Penn's Syvania)

That sounds like a good item for trivial pursuit. <G>

How long does it take to get from intercourse to climax. when you're driving?

Me: 2 minutes
one of my exes: 19 hours minimum & only once a decade!

I saw a commercial for Pedigree dog food, and this dachshund puppy
was looking so worried, as he said "Oh, antioxidants help me live
longer. I thought you said anti-dachshunds". <G>

I've seen that one, too! & only got it the second time because I was reading the captions.

Stay out of sight Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka

There you have it!

Ah so!! <G>

What did you just call me?!

& the Chinese word for "virgin" is "tu yung"

That sums it up.

I forget the German word; but I recall a good name for a bra: over the shoulder boulder holder.

ahh: German bra: stoppemfromfloppen

& the German word for virgin puts us right on the edge of the echo's PG-13 rating: Guttentite.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Hpefully he wasn't usding paedo slamg: chickenmeat means an underage
lad.

We never thought of that slang. It was advertised as "all white meat".
I personally prefer white meat instead of dark meat...with both chicken
and turkey.

But moderation is the key. I'll enjoy the occasional yeast doughnut
now, but only one full sized one at a time. I just had a nice caramel-filled maple-nut doughnut for breakfast!

As noted, I used to get a dozen chocolate iced donuts, and a diet
soda. But, it's rare that I go for that now.

Will have been tobacco-free for 28 years this coming August!

I never picked up the vices of smoking or drinking. I don't see
how they can afford it.

Such a good feeling. I respect others makng their free choice to
smoke, so long as they respect me, & others.

I respect their choice...but the vices have their own consequences.

The church had a beef with smoking, but God was okay with me, at times,
so longb as I did so in a manner that showed my alleguance to Him. One time I was right out of cigs & tobacco, with no money due for a while,m
so I prayed for help; True story: 4 hours later I get a knock on my
door by a down the hall neighbour who knew I smoked & had an extra
carton, & would I like it, free of charge?

The only thing I want smoking or steaming is the food on my dinner plate. But, I've known quite a few church folks that smoked.

Not just what I asked for, but delivery, too! God really knows how to answer prayer!

He does that...but the finances have been tighter than a frogs butt underwater. Even if the Yag Laser surgery does good next month, I may
end up selling the car, anyway.

My wife's are mild enough, but my daughter gets them bad; I have
nothing but sympathy/empathy, of course. Renal Colic can feel like my guts are making their escape by firing cannonnballs using a trebuchet
sat my gut walls.

Too bad we can't use the flatulence after a colonoscopy in our vehicles.
If we could, I'd get a pallet of Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret
formula from Duke, and tell OPEC what they could do with their gas prices. There was "a study" that determined that people pass gas from 15 times a
day, to as much as 20 times an hour. I wonder how much of our tax money
was used to determine that?? <G>

I have to get help rolling onto my side. When they wanted a stool
sample, they had to put the bed's head up to max, so I was basically sitting.

I can roll on to the side pretty easily. Years ago, I was in the hospital
for an illness, and one of the get well cards I got noted "May your bedpan always be warm". <G>

Rowboat accessories are sexy?! You live a lonely life, my friend! ;)

Been that way for 14 1/2 years. I dated some women at times after my
wife died, but never got strongly into the relationship. Nowadays, no one
would want me. I'm leery of the dating apps, as there are a ton of "romance scams". So, I likely will be alone the rest of my life.

How long does it take to get from intercourse to climax. when you're driving?

Me: 2 minutes
one of my exes: 19 hours minimum & only once a decade!

That reminds me of a line from the movie "Zorro - The Gay Blade",
where George Hamilton played both parts...of Diego, then his gay
brother. Just before Diego was to be executed, his brother showed
up with "2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a peso. All here for Zorro...
stand up, and say so". <G>

But, the alcalde (sp?) was real stingy with sex toward his wife.
According to her (taking to Diego), she said "her husband made
love 12 times in a year". Diego said "Once a month is not too bad";
and she lamented "12 times in one year...and the rest of the year,
nothing". In another scene, the alcalde gets his wife "all hot and
horny", and says "You know, that one thing we do, one night, every
year??". She says "Oh, yes!!". He drops her to the floor, walks off,
and says "We still have three months to go". She screams "You Beast!!".

I've seen that one, too! & only got it the second time because I was reading the captions.

I love the dachshund commercials.

Ah so!! <G>

What did you just call me?!

Would you believe there is actually a square dance call, created by
the late Lee Kopman, with that name?? When he was calling in Japan,
he had to stress that he was meaning the call "Ah So", and not just
saying "Ah So". Another call was known as "Cover Up"...and put together,
it sounded like "Cover Up Your Ah So". <G>

There was a video of him on The Phil Donahue Show years ago, in
Chicago, showing what square dancing was. He had a son, Steve, who
followed in his Dad's footsteps...and I got to dance to both of them
when the National Square Dance Convention was in Anaheim, California,
in 1988.

I was in the Advanced Level Hall (there are actually 5 levels in
square dancing...Basic, Mainstread, Plus, Advanced, and Challenge),
and they were having a "contest"...where one would get the dancers
into this God-Awful-Formation, and the other would have to get them
out of it. Well, Dad is first, and says to his son after a few
minutes, "It's yours". We thought "there's no way he'll fix this".
Well, lo and behold, he did it!! Then, he turned to his Dad, and
it was like "Since revenge is a dish best served cold, it's my
turn"...to which everyone laughed. He got us into a worse setup,
and his Dad got us out of it. The dancers were eating it up...that
was some of the most fun I ever had square dancing. Sadly, bladder
cancer claimed Lee's life several years ago.

I forget the German word; but I recall a good name for a bra: over the shoulder boulder holder.

Or as was known on The Beverly Hillbillies: a double barrel slingshot. <G>

ahh: German bra: stoppemfromfloppen

Yah, voul. <G>

& the German word for virgin puts us right on the edge of the echo's
PG-13 rating: Guttentite.

I liked the deal on The Tonight Show years ago, with Johnny Carson as
The Great Carnac, and Ed McMahon reading things. With one envelope, The
Great Carnac said "Marcus Welby, Catfish, Doris Day"...to which, that
got the laugh and chuckles from Ed McMahon and the audience (as Carnac
rubbed the envelope next to his head). Then, he opened it, and said
"Name a surgeon, a sturgeon, and a virgin". <G>

Daryl

... Before drawing boards, where did they go back to??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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George,

Hpefully he wasn't usding paedo slamg: chickenmeat means an underage lad.

We never thought of that slang. It was advertised as "all white meat".
I personally prefer white meat instead of dark meat...with both chicken
and turkey.

I know; I was just throwing out a datum I thought made it funny. . .

As noted, I used to get a dozen chocolate iced donuts, and a diet
soda. But, it's rare that I go for that now.

Live & learn they say. . .

Will have been tobacco-free for 28 years this coming August!

I never picked up the vices of smoking or drinking. I don't see
how they can afford it.

Speaking for myself: taking money away from eating properly/decently, & recycling tobacco/butts (I used to walk down a busy street 5 miles each way, picking up butts, which I'd empty into a rolling paper with home-made cardboard filter.

He does that...but the finances have been tighter than a frogs butt underwater. Even if the Yag Laser surgery does good next month, I may
end up selling the car, anyway.

As threy randomly raise prices & blame it on Covid because the hoi polloi have no idea & just accept it as fact.

Too bad we can't use the flatulence after a colonoscopy in our vehicles. If we could, I'd get a pallet of Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret
formula from Duke, and tell OPEC what they could do with their gas prices. There was "a study" that determined that people pass gas from 15 times a day, to as much as 20 times an hour. I wonder how much of our tax money
was used to determine that?? <G>

I saw a study that timed how long people spent in the stalls in a public bathroom! & thought the same.

I suspect these might be private studies (the latter maybe by employers trying to get a benchmark on what's reasonable for a bathroom break)

As for the former, I imagine it'd be cheap enough to take a survey & ask 6 friends to do so, too, then extrapolate the numbers in a way not consistent with survey science. (cheap enough for the persion doint the study -- they'd charge somene else full price, though, & keep the difference)

I have to get help rolling onto my side. When they wanted a stool sample, they had to put the bed's head up to max, so I was basically sitting.

I can roll on to the side pretty easily. Years ago, I was in the hospital for an illness, and one of the get well cards I got noted "May your bedpan always be warm". <G>

I can, too, now, but soon after my stroke, not so well. . .

ahh: German bra: stoppemfromfloppen

Yah, voul. <G>

Jahvohl?

I liked the deal on The Tonight Show years ago, with Johnny Carson as
The Great Carnac, and Ed McMahon reading things. With one envelope, The Great Carnac said "Marcus Welby, Catfish, Doris Day"...to which, that
got the laugh and chuckles from Ed McMahon and the audience (as Carnac rubbed the envelope next to his head). Then, he opened it, and said
"Name a surgeon, a sturgeon, and a virgin". <G>

The only Carnac I recall is:

Answer: 9W
Question: "So, Mr. Vagner, do you spell your name with a 'V'?


Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

Yah, voul. <G>

Jahvohl?

Probably. I was too tired to look it up. Now, when I think of German, I think of episodes of "Hogan's Heroes".

Daryl

... It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
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Yah, voul. <G>

Jahvohl?

Probably. I was too tired to look it up. Now, when I think of German, I think of episodes of "Hogan's Heroes".

Yup, I watch it weekly. . . Such intricate plans long before McGyver!

Their favourite German expressions are Jahvohl, Raus, & Schnell. (one of those last two means "hurry")

Some funny moments from the series, as per someone else's memory for detail: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/HogansHeroes

My grandpa would always tell me this story about his uncles in WWII. "My uncle was actually captured by the Germans and kept in a pow camp. They would try to break the prisoners spirit by making them to mindless things. One in particular they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, 'tick tock tick tock.' My uncle was always a wise guy so he would rebel in the simplest way. He would only go, 'tick tick tick.' One day the guard finally caught him and said, 'don't vorry. Ve have vays of making you tock.'"

Tyhe commandant comes out & says to ty he prisoners, "I haf good news und bad news!"

Give us the good news first, we need a bright spot.

"Today you vill be water-skiing."

Yayy! What's the bad news?

"I vill be waterskiing; you vill be pulling mein boat."

I'm 5'11½, but tell everyone I'm 6'0"

On my first day of being in a German stalag, we were all lined up and the sergeant commanded that those 6 feet and over step forward. Even though I was shy of ½inch, I stepped forward, along with 15 others.

. After I looked around me, I realized I was noticeably the tallest.

I ordered the German prisoner to tell me the answer to 3*3; he said, "Nein!"; I'm confused.

Spouses are like world wars.
You never refer to them as the "first" until there's a second.


Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Yup, I watch it weekly. . . Such intricate plans long before McGyver!

Werner Klemperer, who played Colonel Klink, lamented the fact that that's what he'd be known for. He was also a great conductor of classical music orchestras.

There are so many funny points, but here are a few of them:

1) He thought this one individual had a scratch across his face. It never occurred to him that his monacle was scratched.

2) He was always being told by General Burkhalter that "my sister is available".

3) He thought he was going to be transferred to the Russian Front, and
Major Hockschteder (sp?) screamed "Klink!! If I sent you to the Russian
Front, I would be shot for treason!!".

4) They were at the Hauserhof Tavern, and trying to get information on
"The Nordon Bomb"...but it was actually a vaccum cleaner. <G> His
secretary was actually Bob Crane's wife (he was Colonel Hogan). Klink
was such a klutz in dancing, and the fraulein said she couldn't dance
anymore. Hogan said "I haven't danced in years", and she said "I thought
you'd never ask!!". The next shot, you see Bob Crane and his wife (Hogan
and the fraulein) dancing together, and Hogan says "Careful, Honey...
you're steaming up Klink's monacle!!" <G>.

5) The Stalag 13 Theatre, where Klink had to listen real close to the
radio, as the audio was so low. Then, musically, they went from very
soft to very loud, in their rendition of Beer Barrel Polka. It about
blew the headphones off Klink's head. <G>

There were so many other funny episodes and things that they did.

Their favourite German expressions are Jahvohl, Raus, & Schnell. (one
of those last two means "hurry")

Some funny moments from the series, as per someone else's memory for detail: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/HogansHeroes

I'm 5'11 1/2, but tell everyone I'm 6'0"

My late wife said she was 4 10 -- and a couple of decimal points.

I ordered the German prisoner to tell me the answer to 3*3; he said, "Nein!"; I'm confused.

I liked the one where they're being taught Yes and No in Russian. And,
who should be right in the midst?? Sargeant Schultz (who was a sucker
for LeBeau's streudel <G>).

Spouses are like world wars.
You never refer to them as the "first" until there's a second.

I saw a blooper today where this gentleman had passed away. The
obituary noted "in lieu of flowers, please make contributions to
his daughter-in-law, so she can buy the big screen TV that his
widow wants". <G>

Daryl

... "Never have children, only grandchildren." -Gore Vidal
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There were so many other funny episodes and things that they did.

Yup, a delight, even years later!

This one, & MASH. . .never a non-funny episode. . .

I liked the one where they're being taught Yes and No in Russian. And,
who should be right in the midst?? Sargeant Schultz (who was a sucker
for LeBeau's streudel <G>).

Schultz was a sucker for his own sweet tooth. . .

... "Never have children, only grandchildren." -Gore Vidal

As good trick!

I used to say, "I plan on having 3 children--one of each." then move on, let THEM
figure it out!

ObJoke:

The Devil sat at the gates of hell... (Story Joke)
An old man suddenly arrived in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looked at his paperwork, and frowned. He was unable to find this old man’s data file.

“This can’t be right,” the old man grumbled, looking at the Devil, “I’ve been a good man my whole life.”

The Devil nodded apologetically, most people said this when they arrived at Hell.
“Why don’t you start with how you died and we’ll figure it out.” He said

The old man sighed and said:

“Well, I was out with minding my grandchildren, enjoying a fun day out. I don’t get the grandchildren often because my eyesight is starting to fade. But we were having the most wonderful time..

And that’s when everything went crazy!

Out of nowhere, I spotted the largest most grotesque mouse I’ve ever seen moving towards us. It was absolutely enormous!

And that’s when it moved. Straight towards the grandchildren first, limbs outstretched. You don’t know where mice have been, what if it had’ve bitten one of them? Can you imagine if they got rabies on my watch?”

“So what did you do?” The Devil whispered, entranced by the story. He was munching on a box of popcorn.

The old man continued,

“You don’t get how big this mouse was! Radiation it must’ve been. Too many phones these days, that’s what causes it.

I did the only think I could!

I grabbed my walking stick and I cracked it over the head. Now my eye sight isn’t that good anymore, but I whacked it good!

The kids started screaming at this point. You know how they get when you have to kill an animal.

But I needed to keep going. You see with mice, you need to see their guts to know they’re dead. Otherwise they’ll be back with others.”

“So you killed it?” The Devil asked. Some of his demigods had come to listen to the story.

The old man nodded,

“By golly I did! Guts and all were splattered for all to see. The kids had lost their mind at this point. Tears everywhere. A crowd had gathered as well, all screaming at the sight.

It was at this point though, that the exertion caught up with me. I felt my heart give way. I must have suffered a heart attack. Next thing I know, I’m here.”

“Well,” the Devil said, concerned, “This doesn’t seem to add up. Let me just give Heaven a call and we’ll try and see what’s going on here.

The Devil pulled up a phone from thin air and dialled a number.

“Hey Jesus bro,” the Devil said, “I think I’ve got one of yours here. His story checks out. Must have been a mix up.”

The Devil nodded as a voice on the phone spoke back to him. He gave the old man a silent celebratory thumbs up as the voice continued.

The Devil covered the phone speaker with his hand, turned to the old man and said,

“You’re all good, they just want to know where you were when you died.”

The old man nodded,

“Oh that’s easy, I was at Disneyland.”

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

This one, & MASH. . .never a non-funny episode. . .

The one I remember was when they were having to get injections in their buttocks. Well, Hawkeye has Major Hoolihan drop her pants, and he's busy complementing her over her "beautiful butt cheeks". Yet, she's getting very annoyed, wanting him to get the shot over with.

Well, in the next scene, he's got his pants down, laughing uncontrollably, and she rams that needle into his butt cheek. <G>

Schultz was a sucker for his own sweet tooth. . .

That he was.

... "Never have children, only grandchildren." -Gore Vidal

As good trick!

If I knew how to make that work, I'd be rich. <G>

I used to say, "I plan on having 3 children -- one of each." then move
on, let THEM figure it out!

One boy, one girl, and...

“Oh that’s easy, I was at Disneyland.”

For the price they're charging to get in there now...not to mention once you're inside, that's enough to give anyone a heart attack!!

Daryl

... DOSSHELL -- Where you go when DOSMOBIL is closed.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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George,

This one, & MASH. . .never a non-funny episode. . .

The one I remember was when they were having to get injections in their buttocks. Well, Hawkeye has Major Hoolihan drop her pants, and he's busy complementing her over her "beautiful butt cheeks". Yet, she's getting very annoyed, wanting him to get the shot over with.

Well, in the next scene, he's got his pants down, laughing uncontrollably, and she rams that needle into his butt cheek. <G>

I vaguely recall that one. . .

I just downloaded the entire Cheers seres, as I was curious as to why I don't see it on TV at al, & it's because CBS has it only on their PPV apps & no way I'm going to watch tv on my phone's 2" screen!

... "Never have children, only grandchildren." -Gore Vidal

As good trick!

If I knew how to make that work, I'd be rich. <G>

How would you monetize this? First sticking point: convincing people to stop having sex.

I used to say, "I plan on having 3 children -- one of each." then move on, let THEM figure it out!

One boy, one girl, and...

Yup.

For the price they're charging to get in there now...not to mention once you're inside, that's enough to give anyone a heart attack!!

I dunno -- haven't been there since as a teen, in '85, & that was all paid for. . . :) good times!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Well, in the next scene, he's got his pants down, laughing uncontrollably, and she rams that needle into his butt cheek. <G>

I vaguely recall that one. . .

The episode was the one where the whole camp was being infected by a virus, and everyone had to be immunized. This was obviously long before COVID-19, and that's a topic for another echo.

I just downloaded the entire Cheers seres, as I was curious as to why I don't see it on TV at al, & it's because CBS has it only on their PPV
apps & no way I'm going to watch tv on my phone's 2" screen!

It's so hard to view stuff on those screens, let alone type on them.

How would you monetize this? First sticking point: convincing people
to stop having sex.

Or like the definitions of "safe sex":

1) One safe humping another one

2) A naked man and woman, all crunched up, coming out of the safe, and
groaning "so much for safe sex".

My late wife thought both memes (especially the first one) were hilarious.

Or as Walter (one of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham's "dummies") describes
"oral sex". His wife says "Screw You!!", and he yells "Bite Me".

Ironically, in one of the ANSI screens with Trade Wars 2002 at the
Stardock (I think the underground, where only evil traders can get in),
are the letters "Byte Me". <G>

Daryl

... "I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury." -Groucho
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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I just downloaded the entire Cheers seres, as I was curious as to why I don't see it on TV at al, & it's because CBS has it only on their PPV apps & no way I'm going to watch tv on my phone's 2" screen!

It's so hard to view stuff on those screens, let alone type on them.

Fully agree to both of those. . . :P
I guess the new Samsung phones are designed better for viewuig their screens, but too wide for me to use one-handed. (Ihold the phone in my hand & usde my thumb to do all the typing -- quytre the opopsite of the teen girl thumbs those on-screen keyboards are designed for. I have, as on The Simpsons: Fat Finger Syndrome.

I like iPhone's predictive dictionary -- is usually accurate enough to speed up typing for me. . .

Or like the definitions of "safe sex":

They finally realized what a stupid idea this was & renamed it "safer sex" but I still like tyhe old memes generated by the original.

Kind of like "global warmning" -- it got proved wrong, decisivelky, so now it's "climate change" because you can't argue that the climate changes; I will argue against us mere mortals being the instrument of said changes, though.

... "I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury." -Groucho

"My wife was so fat. . ." (how fat was she?) "she was so fat that when she sat around the housem, she sat AROUND the house!" -- H. Youngman

That's also a rooster's favourite comedian: HENry Youngman

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

It's so hard to view stuff on those screens, let alone type on them.

Fully agree to both of those. . . :P

It gives "fat finger syndrome a whole new meaning". Yet, without fat
fingers, how do you pick up the food and the silverware?? <G>

I guess the new Samsung phones are designed better for viewuig their screens, but too wide for me to use one-handed. (Ihold the phone in my hand & usde my thumb to do all the typing -- quytre the opopsite of the teen girl thumbs those on-screen keyboards are designed for. I have,
as on The Simpsons: Fat Finger Syndrome.

I quit T-Mobile...their Samsung Android phones were defective. After six months, 4 separate phones would no longer hold a charge, or go dead. The
last 3 customer service reps acted like they didn't want me there.

They finally realized what a stupid idea this was & renamed it "safer
sex" but I still like tyhe old memes generated by the original.

My late wife roared with laughter seeing "one sex humping another one". <G>

Kind of like "global warmning" -- it got proved wrong, decisivelky, so
now it's "climate change" because you can't argue that the climate changes; I will argue against us mere mortals being the instrument of
said changes, though.

We've always had "climate change"...it's called WEATHER.

"My wife was so fat. . ." (how fat was she?) "she was so fat that when
she sat around the housem, she sat AROUND the house!" -- H. Youngman

I liked what Foghorn Leghorn told Prissy...who was trying to get a
husband. He said "You don't bat 'em on the bean with a rolling pin!!"...
then he put his wing up to his mouth, and said "that comes later". <G>

Daryl

... Deja New: A feeling you've bought this product before.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

I quit T-Mobile...their Samsung Android phones were defective. After six months, 4 separate phones would no longer hold a charge, or go dead. The last 3 customer service reps acted like they didn't want me there.

I don't blame the reseller for manufacturer error,. but I do blame them if they don't treat me right. I may not have a lot of money to spend, but who wants it? The ones who treat me with respect get it; not much,. but it's X $ more than they'd have without me.

We've always had "climate change"...it's called WEATHER.

CLIMATE(n): what we expect
WEATHER(n): what we actually get

I liked what Foghorn Leghorn told Prissy...who was trying to get a husband. He said "You don't bat 'em on the bean with a rolling pin!!"... then he put his wing up to his mouth, and said "that comes later". <G>

Cute; I always liked the humour(& music) on Merrie Melodies best!

I'd look up rooster puns, but I think we both know how the internet interpreets that category!

Richards & roosters aren't a pet category for me. . . & no ladies in here who might appreciate a sex change from the internet's usual tacos & cats brand humour. . . :)

Here we go:

A woman walks into a bar, and asks the bartender for a "Double Entendre".
So he gives it to her.

I recently became a buddhist...
... but I still celebrate Christmas. So when December comes around I sit under the Christmas tree, wrap myself in wrapping paper and live in the present.

My brother was complaining that his phone was dying and he said, "my phone is 2%."
Without missing a beat, my dad said, "That's funny, mine is skim."

So my daughter owns a toy monkey called Mimi.. It's her fave monkey of all time it goes everywhere.

Anyway Mimi was covered in flour from a days worth of mucking around with homemade play-dough.

As I'm putting her to bed I'm attempting to knock all the flour off Mimi before giving the monkey to her.

She got grumpy that I had Mimi and I said to her without thinking "Just wait a second Daddy needs to finish de-flouring Mimi... "

I'm just glad she doesn't understand that particular double-entendre

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I don't blame the reseller for manufacturer error,. but I do blame them
if they don't treat me right. I may not have a lot of money to spend,
but who wants it? The ones who treat me with respect get it; not
much,. but it's X $ more than they'd have without me.

The problem was that they apparently had successive models with the same issue, and they kept selling it.

CLIMATE(n): what we expect
WEATHER(n): what we actually get

Exactly. And, weather changes more often than you change your underwear.

Cute; I always liked the humour(& music) on Merrie Melodies best!

There was a lot of pun humor in them as well.

I'd look up rooster puns, but I think we both know how the internet interpreets that category!

One of the football players for the University Of Miami Hurricanes has
the nickname of "Rooster". The way he was moving to score touchdowns in
recent games, caused the announcers to quip "Who says roosters can't fly??".

I recently became a buddhist...
... but I still celebrate Christmas. So when December comes around I
sit under the Christmas tree, wrap myself in wrapping paper and live in the present.

A Buddhist nudist flutist practices yoga bare.

My brother was complaining that his phone was dying and he said, "my
phone is 2%."
Without missing a beat, my dad said, "That's funny, mine is skim."

It seems that they skim on services and coverages.

I'm just glad she doesn't understand that particular double-entendre

I guess it's worth more than the single one.

Now, please excuse me, as I drool over something from Wendy. <G>

Daryl

... A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

I don't blame the reseller for manufacturer error,. but I do blame them if they don't treat me right. I may not have a lot of money to spend, but who wants it? The ones who treat me with respect get it; not much,. but it's X $ more than they'd have without me.

The problem was that they apparently had successive models with the same issue, and they kept selling it.

CLIMATE(n): what we expect
WEATHER(n): what we actually get

Exactly. And, weather changes more often than you change your underwear.

Cute; I always liked the humour(& music) on Merrie Melodies best!

There was a lot of pun humor in them as well.

I'd look up rooster puns, but I think we both know how the internet interpreets that category!

One of the football players for the University Of Miami Hurricanes has
the nickname of "Rooster". The way he was moving to score touchdowns in recent games, caused the announcers to quip "Who says roosters can't fly??".

I recently became a buddhist...
... but I still celebrate Christmas. So when December comes around I sit under the Christmas tree, wrap myself in wrapping paper and live in the present.

A Buddhist nudist flutist practices yoga bare.

My brother was complaining that his phone was dying and he said, "my phone is 2%."
Without missing a beat, my dad said, "That's funny, mine is skim."

It seems that they skim on services and coverages.

I'm just glad she doesn't understand that particular double-entendre

I guess it's worth more than the single one.

Now, please excuse me, as I drool over something from Wendy. <G>

Daryl

... A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)