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Association With Trump Bad for my Brand, Says Jeffrey Epstein in Hell
Jun 05, 2025


HELL (The Borowitz Report)In a rare public statement from the fiery depths
of Hades, Jeffrey Epstein said on Thursday that being associated with
Donald J. Trump was bad for my brand.

Look, I wasnt thrilled about being connected to Prince Andrew, he said. But being linked to Trump will forever ruin how people think of Jeffrey
Epstein.

Visibly angry, he called Elon Musks decision to allege Trumps inclusion in
the so-called Epstein Files hurtful.

Vowing to tear into Elon when he gets down here, Epstein declared, This is
the worst thing Musk has ever done, and that includes the Cybertruck.

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