No doubt a self-proclaimed 'computer scientist' and 'C Programmer Extraordinaire' and 'REAL PROGRAMMER' like yourself can handle this
modest request...
To get you pumped up for this huge effort, let me remind you of your world-class C credentials:
* Give me plain C, or assembly, and I will move the earth.
* Give me C and a Xeon W and I shall move the earth!
* Give me C/Assembly and I shall move the earth in 2 lines