NAME
fimfic - fortune(6) database of MLP: FiM fanfiction quotes
SYNOPSIS
fortune [options] fimfic
DESCRIPTION
Despite how undeniably good good old fortune(6) and its database
is, it's still old. On the odd chance that you're starting to grow
tired of looking at the exact same fortunes for some four decades
now (give or take), here's an attempt to freshen them up by mixing
in a bit of contemporary wisdom and wit.
And which better source for that there can be but the fanfiction
based on and around My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic TV show,
likely the single most popular show ever among fanfiction writers?
Note that the quotes in this database are accompanied with the
URLs of the respective webpages they occur on. You can consider
this part of 'freshening up' the experience, as this day and age
no proper citation is complete without a URL. You can, however,
opt out of this particular feature by filtering the database with:
perl -npe 'BEGIN {$/="
%
"} s{,[ \t\r
]*\S+://\S+}{}sm;'
< fimfic > fimfic-no-urls
COPYING
If you wish to copy or adapt the stories quoted, or use them for
anything but personal, non-commercial purposes, you'd better
contact their respective authors beforehand.
All copyright and database and neighboring and other rights
ensuing from preparing this very publication ARE HEREBY DISCLAIMED.
Whatever you do with this file, you do not need *my* permission,
for I give you any and all such permissions in advance right here,
except for permissions that cannot be given under applicable law.
This file is distributed without any warranty.
SEE ALSO
fortune(6), strfile(8)
https://fimfiction.net/
https://tvtropes.org
/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanWorks/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic
The oneliners come from the following stories (chapters):
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8176156/174/Romance-and-the-Fate-of-Equestria
https://fimfiction.net/story/56774/10/alarm-clock
https://fimfiction.net/story/386671/1/the-lazy-dragon-of-dragonvale
https://fimfiction.net/story/390596/1/twilight-learns-russian
BUGS
It probably doesn't quote [your favorite story here].
(Or [your favorite author], for that matter.)
There's no corresponding -o file.
To think of it, there's no SCP Foundation quotes file, either.
With "Infinite Time Loops" being what it is (a massive multiverse
online collaborative crossover), I'd say it could use a dedicated
database as well.
I've probably got a bit carried away with the quotes that provide
various fanfiction authors' commentary on individual stories and
the state of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction at
large (which is to say: poking fun at each other, their readers
and whatnot), now haven't I?
THE DATABASE FILE ITSELF
%
And look at that chapter title :D
What an amazing milestone after just 600k!
-- Prunus Padus, commenting on Chapter 90 "End of Prologue"
of "The Immortal Dream" by Czar_Yoshi,
https://fimfiction.net/story/465687/90/
%
And that is why, amongst all the lands of Equus, Equestria alone
is ruled always and only by immortal alicorn Princesses, and not by
Queens and Kings. For true leadership is achieved by guidance, true
loyalty is earned through trust...
... and true friendship rises above even the most irredeemable of
mistakes... by making them not be mistakes after all...
-- "The Eternal Mistake" by Lets Do This,
https://fimfiction.net/story/440294/1/
%
[...] "And then she put her most trusted subjects in charge of the
committee to run things and keep it fair. By which," Twilight said
hurriedly as she saw the question forming in Pinkie's eyes, "I mean
us six."
"Sounds like my kind of civil service job!" Pinkie grinned.
"Yes, you took to it fairly well," Twilight agreed. "But I could never
get over the fact that I was actually aiding and abetting the Bureau."
"That's okay, Twilight!" Pinkie grinned. "You just said it wasn't an
evil Conversion Bureau."
"Not the Conversion Bureau," Twilight corrected, "the Convention Bureau."
-- "MLP Time Loops" by Saphroneth (Ed.)
https://fimfiction.net/story/98568/143/
%
And they lived happily ever after. With frequent naps.
%
"Anyway, the reason gravity redshifts light is because it slows down
time. If, for example, time runs ten percent slower, then light will
have ten percent less energy, and that makes it redder. The observed
redshift depends on the observer, of course. Somepony in that same
gravity well, her clock also going ten percent slower, will not see
any redshifting."
-- "Inevitabilities" by Sharp Quill,
https://fimfiction.net/story/390302/34/
%
Colossus of Talona is online. Kindly state mission objective.
%
Felicity glanced down at the rear viewfinder, and sure enough Delta
wasn't wrong. She didn't have to use the camera for more than a few
seconds before the skimmer was surrounded by circling figures.
Familiar, animal eyes looked inward, fixed on her. But pony nightmares
of predatory dragons and evil griffons didn't translate well, given
these creatures had buck teeth and flat molars.
We're being hunted by underwater rabbits.
-- "Return to Sender" by Starscribe,
https://fimfiction.net/story/509851/25/
%
"Great!" Twilight said. "So then. Ditzy, how do you know about
Th'cl'br'gh the Overpunctuated? The one you called the Eyeless King?"
"Wait, wait, 'the Overpunctuated'? Unicorn scholars actually called
him that?"
"In that particular field, a sense of humor goes a long way towards
fighting off the creeping madness."
-- "Alarm Clock" by Meta Four,
https://fimfiction.net/story/56774/10/
%
Hazard Read, the Half-Mad? _He_ told you?
%
"I don't want to live for just a year," Twilight Sparkle said. "I'm not
ready. I think I have more to offer Equestria. And I want to live long
enough to do that."
"Few are ready," said Death, whispering into her ear. "I know the
fantasy you believed, it is the same one that so many mortals share.
You think I am out of reach--you imagined all the years you had ahead
of you, that after all that life you would be ready. But deep down,
I think you knew that isn't true. When one of my servants came for you,
you would still wish for one more day. One new spell you might invent,
one more mystery you might solve. There will always be one more."
-- "Secrets of the Mane Six" by Starscribe,
https://fimfiction.net/story/368521/4/
%
Maybe I'm dead and this is heaven? Plentiful oats, minimal
responsibility, pretty lady who likes you. The evidence is strong.
Then again if this was heaven, shouldn't it be a pretty lady-lady,
not a pretty horse-lady?
Maybe this is saying more about me than I'm prepared to admit.
-- John, "Johns" by Cackling Moron,
https://fimfiction.net/story/439869/3/
%
"No problem," she said as she rested her hands on the keyboard. She
began typing the decryption command:
openssl enc -d -AES256 -in encrypted -out unencrypted -K
Now for the key. She handed the phone to Fowler. "Read the first
sixty four digits."
-- Meg, "Inevitabilities" by Sharp Quill,
https://fimfiction.net/story/390302/33/
%
"One-half eldrony, on my mom's side." Anticipating her next question,
Pinkie continued. "Hybrid child of an earth pony and an eldritch
abomination. Which is like a big, super-smart, super-powerful, super-funny-looking, usually tentacle-y monster that drives you crazy
if you look at it long enough."
"If it drives you crazy, then how..?"
(The rest of the villagers either ran off in fear or fell to the ground
in gibbering, frothing madness. Chalcedony Quartz, however, took a
determined step forwards. The Choosing Stone had revealed this creature
to be his soulmate, and by the Stone he was going to make. It. Work.)
"Tradition and stubbornness. It worked out well in the end."
-- "Truthseeker" by RB_,
https://fimfiction.net/story/338736/2/
%
Pinkie Pie bounced into the room, hoofing over a pie to Starlight.
"Heard you were having computer trouble, so I brought this!"
"Uhm, thanks?"
"It's a raspberry pie," Pinkie informed her, wiggling her eyebrows.
"Get it?"
"Nooo, not really," Starlight replied after a moment's thought.
"Huh. Don't worry, neither do I. But the readers will. Well, some
readers will. The rest will get the joke explained to them in the
comments by the computer nerds who do get it."
-- "My battery is low, and it's getting dark" by Naughty_Ranko,
https://fimfiction.net/story/433075/8/
%
"Sir, my name is Grand Mage Twilight Sparkle. These maps are now
seized in the name of national security. I do plan on returning them,
but for now, they belong to the Crown."
-- "Rites of Ascension" by CvBrony,
https://fimfiction.net/story/39849/84/
%
"Sweet Celestia, give me strength," he muttered.
"Well, I can try, Mr. Secretary, but I make no promises."
-- Dotted Line and Celestia, "Whom the Princesses Would Destroy..."
by GhostOfHeraclitus,
https://fimfiction.net/story/54117/3/
%
Thanks to his name, I'd almost forgotten about his cutie mark in
skiing. Not all ponies were so blessed with an alignment of name,
cutie mark, and actual calling. Certainly Grid came closer than
myself, with my cutie mark in baseball and a name betraying my
parents' misplaced hopes of continuing their pizzeria's legacy.
-- Detective Pesco Margherita, "Bug in a Blizzard" by
Paracompact,
https://fimfiction.net/story/515810/13/
%
That wasn't a language. It was a punishment.
%
"This recap is kind of annoying because I was waiting for the last few
chapters before re-reading the whole damn thing."
"The entire thing? All 2m words? That's quite the dedication."
-- KMCA and Czar_Yoshi, discussing Chapter 983 "Last Grand
Goodbye, One" of "The Olden World" by Czar_Yoshi,
https://fimfiction.net/story/376880/983/
%
Twilight frowned. "Then can you tell me why the sky changed in 881?
Or what caused the mana cataclysm that same year?"
"I don't know when 881 is, or even which woof region of time you
refer to," said Tirek. "Not that it matters."
Twilight blinked several times. "What the hay is a woof region?"
Tirek closed his eyes. "The world is far more complex than you are
capable of understanding, stupid pony. I shall answer you no more."
-- "Irreversible" by Trick Question,
https://fimfiction.net/story/377886/12/
%
"Twilight."
"Rarity."
"I am only going to ask this once. I want a reasonable answer."
"Very well."
"...Why are we cuttlefish?"
"I have no idea."
-- "MLP Time Loops" by Saphroneth (Ed.),
https://fimfiction.net/story/98568/39/
%
"[...] Ugh. Perhaps my perception has been simply askew because of
how long he held me prisoner in my own head. What's that called?"
"Stockholm Syndrome," Twilight said solemnly.
"Is that it?" Celestia said absently. "That was my first guess, but
I could have sworn there was some sort of pony-related word in it
somewhere."
"No, that's it."
-- "Romance and the Fate of Equestria" by Supa Supa Bad Truly
Mad Moves,
https://fanfiction.net/s/8176156/169/
%
"Well?" Rainbow Dash was hovering around Starlight. "What are they
talking about now?"
Starlight sighed. "They're all agreeing with each other. Loudly.
Mostly about how unreasonable someone else is."
-- "The Immortal Dream" by Czar_Yoshi,
https://fimfiction.net/story/465687/102/
%
Would a ghost leave a scent on something? Could I track her with a
bloodhound? I could just imagine how that would go if I started asking
around for a bloodhound that could track a ghost. Maybe a ghosthound.
Could the ghost of a dog track the ghost of a pony?
-- "The Haunting" by Admiral Biscuit,
https://fimfiction.net/story/423769/13/
%
"You killed General Senias, Grand Marshal Maegren Fallo has quit
the field. Killing Senias is a fine accomplishment though; she
was a sociopath."
"And you aren't?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Jury's still out, Ms. Kettle."
-- Garken Caedum and Tempest, "Harmonic Fellowship" by Sun Sage,
https://fimfiction.net/story/379911/14/
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)