Namely, because too many young parents nowadays seem to think that
they're entitled to take without giving, when it comes to child care. (ESPECIALLY when the female friend/relative they demand favors from say: "Sorry, I don't do unpaid work.")

Oddly, when I searched in this group, I found VERY little mention of
such co-ops.

https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/1finxll/the_village_people_speak_of_is_bullshit/


OP:
"People keep having kids and complaining that there’s no village to help
them take care of the kids. My generation of women in my family is the
first to completely end any of this village BS. Why you may ask ………..BECAUSE MOST OF US F------ WORK. One of my cousins complained that she did not feel supported by us(the other women in the family our age)
after giving birth. She’s literally a stay at home wife (now mom). The
only person responsible for supporting her is her husband.

"She actually thinks that it’s our responsibility to take turns coming
to her house when we get off of work to relieve her of her duties so she
can rest. What about our f------ rest.

"She went on to talk about how our mother supported each other and were
each other’s village. Our mothers did that because they were stay at
home moms to a bunch of kids and most of them couldn’t escape that
reality due to being victims of financial abuse. It’s actually so sad
that our mothers had kids because that is just what was expected of them
they didn’t know any f------ better.

"She chose motherhood and I chose my sanity. I will not allow her to
make her choice my problem."


Some responses (there are more than 100):


"A village of other women is based on quid pro quo. Your cousin wants
unpaid labor from the women in her family bc it most benefits her. She
needs to pay that forward with other mothers if she wants the occasional
night off. Paying for childcare is an option."



"THIS. This is what so many parents don’t get when they ask 'where is my village?' Did you help mutually support anyone else before you had kids?
No? Then it’s crazy you think people would just appear…."




"I think people misunderstand the village thing. They seem to think it
means a metaphorical village of their friends and loved ones.

"To me, the saying means just that: the village. I grew up in a village.
What did parents do? 'I need to clean; out of the house! Go play!' We'd
know what roads we weren't allowed to cross. When we were too young to
read time, you'd know you have to be home when the street lights come
on. And you'd roam, alone, or the two of you, for hours.

"If we were s----, a random adult would yell at you to stop being a
f------ s---. If we fell, a random person would bandage our knee. The
village stepped in when there is danger or s----- stuff.

"It was never about turning people into babysitters. Or your friends
being coparents. It's about living in a community. A community that will discipline your child and notice if a kid's going to do something fatal.

"That most places are now too large, and too individual is a societal
change.

"And is the village perfect? Of course not. When I could talk I was
warned of men trying to lure you away into their house or car. We were constantly talking about the bad people that we knew prey on children. (Violent) bullying among kids was raaaaaaampent, because many exchanges
were without supervision.

"There is no easy way to raise kids. Do it the old way, and the kid is
exposed to large amounts of risk. Do it the new way, and it's
soul-draining BS for the parents. There has never been such a thing as involved parenting that keeps your child close and safe while ALSO being
easy and rewarding at the same time.

"Shockingly (/s), having kids is hard. And people who have kids without considering, discussing, and researching every part of it are setting themselves, and their kids, up for bad times."

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
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