XPost: alt.arts.poetry.comments, alt.poetry
On Wed, 21 May 2025 2:51:20 +0000, W.Dockery wrote:
General-Zod wrote:
Will Dockery wrote:
Doc...@novabbs.i2p wrote:
Deep Blue Sassafras
You never left:
As another day passes
your love
my love
continues.
You sleep
or you wander,
depending on the chosen myth.
But those
deep blue flowers in a box,
the color of your eyes,
the deep blue flowers
I found blooming
in the lumber yard
that I brought to you
that summer morning in 1982,
the flowers
that smelled like sassafras,
like you,
never leave my thoughts
day in, day out.
-Will Dockery
(Edit by George J. Dance)
This is an example of the editing work George Dance did on one of
my poems, for example.
Aw, shucks, Will; all I did was combine some of the lines and stanzas,
so it would fit on one page of the book, and fix the punctuation;
someone had complained that there were too many full stops for the
number of sentences.
(Ironically, the same person who'd complained earlier, then complained
about the revision having a "run-on sentence." There's just no pleasing
some people.)
Mr Zodiac wrote:
Outstanding poem.....
Thanks again.
It is a nice poem, and makes a good conclusion to the book. One part of
it that I think lifts it up from the ordinary is the sentence/Stanza:
You sleep
or you wander,
depending on the chosen myth.
Of course that could mean anyone's "chosen myth", but rereading it I got
the idea of a person choosing their own afterlife, an idea I've
encountered only once before (in Heinlein's /Job/).
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