XPost: alt.arts.poetry.comments, alt.poetry
nancygene.andjayme@gmail.com (NancyGene) wrote in news:
efc23b67941012594b4cf28563de0b18@www.novabbs.com:
On Sat, 14 Jun 2025 23:31:36 +0000, cujodemaniac wrote:
Team Donkey has gathered, the vision so bright,
Plumbs the valley of failure with all of their might.
Their strategies whispered, drunken ramblings in the night,
Each brilliant idea, a sad and sorrowful sight.
They swore they'd succeed, though no evidence to date,
Success was a concept they’d never get at this rate.
With a cheer and a clatter, they sealed their own fate,
The Donkey leading the charge, with a staggering gait.
****************************
Bow to Cujo.
Team Donkey delenda est.
An almost perfect poem! Our only suggestion would be to substitute
"bray" for "cheer" in the penultimate line. We love "valley of
failure."
Excellent call. I revised the line.
******************
Team Donkey has gathered, the vision so bright,
Plumbs the valley of failure with all of their might.
Their strategies whispered, drunken ramblings in the night,
Each brilliant idea, a sad and sorrowful sight.
They swore they'd succeed, though no evidence to date,
Success was a concept they’d never get at this rate.
With a bray and no grey matter, they sealed their own fate,
The Donkey leading the charge, with a staggering gait.
******************
I don't think I could ever top PJR's version but I can try.
PS: Shall I compose a "Brave Team Donkey" pome like the "Brave Sir
Beefy" compositions elsewhere? I'm thinking "Brave Team Douchebag" might
work better but I'll be happy to hear your input.
--
"Post-editing someone's statement before replying to it is a sure sign
that you have already lost the argument." - Little Willie Douchebag gets another asskicking from Pendragon.
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