On Sun, Jun 9, 2024 at 4:59 PM Arthur Spitzer <arspitzer2@gmail.com> wrote:
<snip>
And it's All Things Dark and Scary #2 by Josh Geurink (and an add-
on by Martin Phipps)!
Oooooo, noice :D
"But wouldn't it be easier for you to just wave your arms,
say `alakazoodle' and -- POOF -- you're there?" RwR asked with a
look of confusion crossing his face. "I mean, why hunt through all
your old stuff looking for an Occult Ritual (tm) ?"
Occultism Kid paused for a moment and sighed. "Because,
crossing the net.dimensions with spells doesn't work that way. You
need precise knowledge of where you're headed and EXACTLY what'll be
there.
It's a lot more narratively satisfying to do it that way!
The scene shifts from the LNH HQ to a cold, dark street in a
far-away place. Old paper drifts across deserted roadways, and alley cats >> roam unmolested. Just picture any episode of BTAS, and you'll have
no trouble with this description...
X3 It's *true*
Suddenly, a man bursts out a building -- a post office -- grasping
his left wrist. "Help me!!!!" he shouts as he runs down the street, the
tatters of his postal uniform flapping in a cold breeze. A green tentacle >> snakes its way out a manhole in front of him as the man looks back to make >> sure nothing is following him.
"It's not fair!" he sobs. "These weird things aren't supposed to
happen to people like me! I'm a family man! I've worked hard all my life..."
I'm sorry, but if you live in alt.horror.cthulhu, you can't be *that* surprised
Back in Occultism Kid's room, a pile of books and other assorted
notes are heaped in a massive pile where the net.hero used to be.
The pile shifts slightly.
The pile quivers.
The pile EXPLODES, sending books flying in every which way. Standing
where the pile once was is Occultism Kid, clutching a small, paperback edition
of "OccultTech the quick and easy way!" victoriuosly in his hands.
"I've found it!!!!!!!"
XD XD XD That's delightful.
Several hours later still finds Occultism Kid hard at work
at the book. His room is spotless, and the left foot of Captain
Cleanup can be seen exiting.
"Can't these Kids keep ANYTHING straight around here..."
X3 Perfect followup.
"Lets see... the occult ritual (tm) should go like this...
`I shall build a device. This device shall take me to other dimensions.'
`I shall find bizarre techinal componets. These components shall make
up the device. This device shall take me to other dimensions.'
`I shall find a confessional. This confessional shall house the bizarre
techical components that shall make up the device. This device shall
take me to other dimensions....'" (1)
Oh, this is actually quite a good ritual
Occultism Kid "Harrumphs" and the bickering stops. "I could get
used to this leadership thing. Maybe _I_ should vie for leader of
the LNH..." he thinks.
Oh sweetie. X>
I'm building a device, and I need you guys to help find the parts.
And whatever you do, DON'T let the Ultimate Ninja know you're doing this.
It sort-of involves... borrowing a few things from the other members.
If anyone asks, you're on a scavenger hunt. Agreed?"
The collected members -- Bandwagon Boy only after everyone else --
nod.
Ah yes, the period when the Ultimate Ninja had his own secret
identity... I like it. n.n
Grammar Lad, I need several
strands of Extended Cupric Electrical-Field Conduits from Kid Kirby's
room..."
Grammer Lad went deathly pale. "But he'll KILL me!"
Occultism Kid grinned and chuckled to himself. "Not over some
Copper Wire, he won't. You'll be OK, trust me.
Well then why are you making him get it from *there*!? X3
"Anyway, Sarcastic Lad, I need one of Typo Lad's ancient, unused
dictionaries, preferrably still WITH the wax seal.
I love that idea. n.n
"But you can't steal from St. Kogutt's! It's a CHURCH, Occultism Kid!
It's not ethical! It's... bad," RosterwReam preached.
"Yeah. What he said." intoned Pliable Lad.
"Look -- it's not stealing, per se. RwR'll leave some money in the
collection basket while you take the confessional. Trust me -- it'll be
all right! Other heros do this sort of thing all the time!"
"Like who?"
"Uh... Look! Here we are!
Heeheehee. X>
"Don't I know your voice? Ah, forget it. I've stolen -- but
paid for! -- the, uh, other confessional...?" OK squeaked the final
words.
The priest didn't miss a beat. "Your penance is fourteen Hail Marys,
sixteen Our Fathers, and four Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoats."
X3
This, obviously, shocked Occultism Kid, who was ready to run. His
expression went from one of fear to relief. "Thank you father, whoever
you are!" and he left the (remaining) confessional.
"No, thank YOU, Occultism Kid." The shot zooms through the
window and centers on the face of the priest. It's metallic.
"What a Minister turn of events this is, eh? HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
DUN DUN DUNNNNN...
"WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE, YOU!!!" The Ultimate Ninja shouted from
down the hall.
"Oh, Geez! It's UN! Run for it!"
Oh he's having fun. n.n
"Occultism Kid! Wait for me!!!" With agility bron of desperation,
RosterwReam dove through the door of the TANDI just before it vansihed into >> thin air, leaving List Lad and the Ultimate Ninja standing alone, in an
empty room, looking quite perplexed.
DUN DUN DUNNNNN...
"Perhaps Occultism Kid had some sort of future vision, which
may or may not come to pass, where someone named `Elvis Man' joins
the LNH with lots and lots of sequins?" Doctor Stomper popped in.
I assume this is some kind of joke about how this story takes place
earlier on the timeline than it was posted, maybe?
"One thing still bothers me, though," Grammar Lad stood up
from the back of the room, near the all-you-can-eat salad bar. "If
there is no Elvis Man, then where did MainStream Man get those
sequins?"
The mainstream avenger, never once looking up from his comic,
just shrugged again. "Aw, I just grabbed a handful of ice from the
'fridge. Why, does it make a difference...?"
Next Ish: It makes a difference!!!!
DUN DUN DUNNNNN...
Next Week: More Occultism Kid?!!!
Yay! \o/
Drew "all the Occultism Kid!" Nilium
On 6/13/24 2:25 AM, candycanearter07 wrote:
Drew Perron <pwerdna@gmail.com> wrote at 04:08 this Wednesday (GMT):<snip>
On Sun, Jun 9, 2024 at 4:59 PM Arthur Spitzer <arspitzer2@gmail.com> wrote:
The scene shifts from the LNH HQ to a cold, dark street in a
far-away place. Old paper drifts across deserted roadways, and alley cats >>>> roam unmolested. Just picture any episode of BTAS, and you'll have
no trouble with this description...
X3 It's *true*
What's BTAS?
Batman: The Animated Series. n.n
"It's not fair!" he sobs. "These weird things aren't supposed to
happen to people like me! I'm a family man! I've worked hard all my life..."
I'm sorry, but if you live in alt.horror.cthulhu, you can't be *that* surprised
As a wise man once said, "it's like being surprised you're being spied on
in Spy Land" (from the mario bros super show)
X3
I'm building a device, and I need you guys to help find the parts.
And whatever you do, DON'T let the Ultimate Ninja know you're doing this. >>>> It sort-of involves... borrowing a few things from the other members.
If anyone asks, you're on a scavenger hunt. Agreed?"
The collected members -- Bandwagon Boy only after everyone else --
nod.
Ah yes, the period when the Ultimate Ninja had his own secret
identity... I like it. n.n
Secret identities are fun.
They *are*! I've been pondering how even secret identities with no chance of being found out can make a narrative more interesting, by allowing people to interact completely different ways in different contexts!
"No, thank YOU, Occultism Kid." The shot zooms through the
window and centers on the face of the priest. It's metallic.
"What a Minister turn of events this is, eh? HA HA HA HA HA!!!"
DUN DUN DUNNNNN...
Oh no, betrayal! Really heatin' up!
Who would ever think you could be betrayed by a priest!?
Next Week: More Occultism Kid?!!!
Yay! \o/
Drew "all the Occultism Kid!" Nilium
is there any official art of thems
Not that I'm aware of (or it would be up on https://lnh.diamond-age.net/wiki/Occultism_Kid ). Possibly Arthur has drawn him
at some point?
Drew "I'm like 99% sure I've looked thru all of Dave's art" Nilium
Yay! \o/
Drew "all the Occultism Kid!" Nilium
is there any official art of thems
Not that I'm aware of (or it would be up on https://lnh.diamond-age.net/wiki/Occultism_Kid ). Possibly Arthur has
drawn him at some point?
Drew "I'm like 99% sure I've looked thru all of Dave's art" Nilium
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