XPost: alt.comics.lnh

OK, MAYBE IT WASN'T THE END

HUNGRY, HUNGRY SABERTOOTHS!
EPILOG (Side A): "Another Morning Comes"
By Drew Nilium (with editing and input from Jeanne Morningstar (more so than
usual))

====

April 25th, the day after.

====

And on that day, the slow road lead back home.

A man somewhere on the far side of seventy walked thru Drayer Park, admiring the spring foliage. The cherry blossoms had already fallen, but the leaves were beautiful.

He stopped next to an anonymous little hill, maybe six inches higher than average. Of course, the average was hard to tell, because the grass all around it had been kicked around, pushed up, gashed, and generally disturbed. Eventually, city maintenance would take care of it, but they had enough to worry about. For now, the scars of battle would stay fresh.

The man knelt down, touched the dirt and grass on the hill, and listened.

"...not here, but... ah, of course, there." Then something prickled at the back of his neck. He turned just as a gout of hellfire burst up, a respectful distance away.

DNSDaemon appeared out of the flames and bowed low to him. "My lord."

The man raised an eyebrow, and smiled slightly. "I am not the one who took that title of you; I am no one's lord."

"Nevertheless, you are the only one left to take it," said the demon, still bowing. "I would not return to Net.Hell, unless you bid it."

"Hah! You know I'd never send anyone there, if I could help it."

"Then..." DNSDaemon straightened, with a subtle smile. "It seems you are stuck with me."

"Hey!" They both turned, to see a short figure under a bedsheet stomping towards them.

"I can *tell* it's you again!" said Scary Ghost Lass, hands on her hips. "I thought I said to geddouttahere!"

"We were just about to... but..." Lost souls tend to find each other, thought the man. "Perhaps you need to keep an eye on me, make sure I don't get into any more trouble."

"Well! Maybe I should!!"

The three of them walked off together, in the bright spring sunshine, Scary Ghost Lass skipping along. "So where are we going?"

"To the outskirts of the city. To meet an old friend..."

====

The Black Halo floated high in the sky over Net.ropolis, looking off into the distance and hrrrrghing and straining in weird ways.

"Bah!" they monologued to no one. "The way back to my multiverse is blocked by the Molybdenum Blinds of Trademark! Perhaps a subtle tack may prove more fruitful..."

They relaxed, lying back in the air, allowing the breeze to whip their cape about and wrap it around their body. Their cosmic senses stretched out, and altho the noosphere was chaotic after yesterday's disruptions, they could still feel the whirling dance of life and death beneath it all...

Their eyes opened in shock! "So! It was not mere cosmic whim that brought me here! Somewhere out there, blown by the winds of dimensional disturbance, is my clan - nay, my whole city!"

They reached out again, to divine the direction - but the hint of familiar energy was gone. "Have I caught myself in hallucination, pareidolia fueled by base fantasy? Nay-- I *know* their signs and portents! They are on this world!"

The Black Halo straightened and tossed their cape to the side. "Thus-- the search begins!" They sped off into the sky!

====

Abigail the Kiwi sat in the LNHQ's Kiwi Lounge, which had been built back during the Infinite Leadership Crisis, when various kiwis had gotten to be leader-for-a-day and spent the time making up for some deficiencies in the building's amenities. Charlotte, Penelope, and Evelyn were gushing excitedly about their adventure, and Abigail was smiling and nodding and actively listening, enjoying their infodumps, even as she kept her own secrets in her back pocket.

Beneath the surface of her mind, UltraKiwi roosted quietly, letting her thoughts idly turn and twist.

Her father would be staying on Earth for a few more days, but would need to return to the Aviary of Light soon, helping to guide the transition from monster-hunters into cosmic helpers. But this was clearly a world that the UltraKiwis could learn from, and more would be coming to visit.

Her brother was gone; he'd merged with Simplicity during the final battle, but when they had unmerged, he had disappeared, no doubt feeling humiliated on a number of levels. She had searched the noosphere for him; tomorrow she and Ultrasixpi would transform and search physically, but deep in her soul she knew he was no longer on this world.

She was sure they'd meet again. Though it had been rejected, love, freely offered, was always a catalyst of change. Of course, what the change would be like, no one could say...

====

"...so for now, I'm staying in the city." said Toony Stork, standing on the sidewalk outside the LNHQ. "I'll be visiting every week, and if there's any kind of emergency, you can let me know."

"I don't think there's gonna be any emergencies I can't take care of, Grandpa!" said Merissa. "But thanks! I'm looking forward to learning all your cool moves!"

"Awwww, shucks. I don't think I have any particularly cool moves, but I'll see what I can do." He looked at his watch. "Oop, better get going or they'll rent that condo to someone else. See you later!"

Merissa waved as her grandpa hopped in his car and drove off. It was great having him around. Yesterday had been great... except...

What Token Girl had said about hope... Merissa couldn't stand it. It reminded her of the bad old days, the memories she pushed to the back of her head, older than her body and mind. No, she wouldn't put up with that kind of shit... no matter what.

In Merissa's digital heart, an old bitterness flickered and smoked...

====

Multi-Tasking Man pushed back his chair, stretched, yawned, activated his "be back soon" message, and saved his game in Elden Ring. (Which wouldn't, technically, actually come out for another two years, as all the reality- warpery of the final battle had knocked the sliding time scale a bit out of joint. But that was Captain Continuity's problem to deal with, not his.) He left the Monitor Room, juggling thoughts in his head and juggling office supplies in his hands.

He'd been worried about what UltraKiwi Wondersock had done while in his body, but the infernal bird's plans had been all grand cosmic villainy, with no thought of tapping communications or laying subtle traps. Now, Multi-Tasking Man's thoughts were occupied by the LNHQ itself.

The evil LNH's HQ in Looniverse-Ronove... that was, ultimately, part of the LNHQ he knew. As were the monsters lurking in the sub-basements, as were the complex geometries that lead to millions or billions of other worlds, each with their own version of this living landmark, populated by heroes, villains, kiwis,
and far stranger things.

Ah - and here, a soda machine, a reminder that even in his LNHQ, seemingly normal things could be dangerous. Like Ven-Dorr, another soda machine they'd had, a spy for the West Coast Brotherhood.

He slid in a quarter, tapped a button, listened to the cans clunk, and watched the lights behind the buttons dim and brighten. The LNHQ that he loved, cared for, could feel the heartbeat of in the flickers of fluorescent lights and the refresh rate of every monitor he looked at; its nature held good, and evil, and more. And he accepted that, and loved it still; but would remember it, the next time he was in some other world's LNHQ.

The can of carbonated sugar water clunked into the delivery slot. Multi-Tasking Man grabbed it, pulled the tab, took a big gulp, gave the soda machine an affectionate pat, and walked back to the Monitor Room.

Mistake, the new leader of the Brotherhood of Net.Villains, was quick and clever. She knew that the LNH understood that net.villains almost never repeated plans that had been foiled, even if the foiling had been entirely accidental. So she had moved into that blind spot.

A metamorph who could turn into inanimate objects and duplicate their abilities,
including taking quarters, dispensing soda, and transmitting information in secret... yes, the Bogusite would be a very useful addition to the Brotherhood.

====

Notes: The Bogusite had his first and, as far as I can tell, only appearance in the Multi-Tasking Man: Innocent Bystander miniseries, after which M-TM's creator, Jeff Coleburn, encouraged the writers to "do something fun" with him, so here we are! For more details: https://lnh.diamond-age.net/wiki/Bogusite

*ka-chunk* Flip over to Side B. *ka-chunk-chunk*

Drew "totally bogusite, dude" Nilium

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