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Issue #9: "Gals' Dream Army! The News From Tomorrow?!" _______________________________________________________________________________

The night of April 9th, two weeks since the election was announced... _______________________________________________________________________________

In a forest of fog, draped in eternal green twilight, the duelists meet. Bright swords flash in the dim air. The two soar thru the air, spin, turn, parry, thrust. They are perfectly matched - and then they are not, and there is a victor, and a loser.

And the victor goes to where the loser lays, and removes her mask...

There is no one there. There was only ever one in this forest.

Nina Yamashiro's eyes open. She stares at the ceiling.

Once the sabertooth pandemic had ended, she had made it a point to try to at least spend nights in her apartment in the city. She'd finally had a good, long talk with Zoe - confessing her identity to her long before she confessed it to the world - and they'd begin dating. But Zoe was gone tonight. It was just her, in the dark.

She had known him, hadn't she? Not the Ultimate Ninja that couldn't be beaten, not that engine of destruction who was only ever just holding himself back from flipping out and killing everyone... but a man who, though guarded and quiet and severe in public, had such warmth inside him, who cared so much for these silly nutballs, who was a hero. Her Uncle Grumpy.

...she *had* known him, hadn't she? Even though... how old was she when she stopped going on adventures? Eight? Nine, maybe? Was the filter of childhood nostalgia making a beloved uncle out of a dangerous maniac? Or could you be a beloved uncle and a maniac, all in one person?

And did it take a dangerous maniac to lead the Legion? Surely not, right? (And don't call me Shirley!) But the kind of person who had the force of will required to keep hundreds of people defined by their personality quirks and flaws pointed in the same direction...

It had been easier when she'd been coasting on the original Ninja's reputation. But she couldn't live like that. She'd managed to cling on by her fingernails with the help of the three people who arguably did the most leading, but...

Well, it was out of her hands now. The Legion would decide on its own leader. All she had to do was make sure she got more votes than any obvious net. villains on the ballot. And once the election was over, if she was *still* leader, she would make it so that, in order to be nominated for leader, you had to be a member of the team to begin with. And kick out Bad Judgment Boy.

Either way, she wasn't making it back to sleep tonight. She transformed, opened the window, and headed out into the night, looking for some evil that needed fought... _______________________________________________________________________________

She dreams of rules. Rules that grasp her hands so they don't shake. Rules that encircle her chest so she can breathe. Rules that pin her down so she can relax,
can release herself; warm rules, tingling with love and firm affection, giving her a place, giving her the ability to simply be...

She wakes up, distractingly horny, and puts a pillow over her head and turns toward the wall and sighs.

Shirley Jefferson had one girlfriend that lived in Net.Hampshire, and one who lived in Ge.org.ia, and although both of them wanted to move to Net.ropolis, neither was in a financial situation to do so, and she wasn't in a financial situation to help them do so. But Net.ropolis was a wandering city, so whenever she was in a day trip's distance from one or the other, they visited, and she could feel safe for a while, held tight in their arms, under their spells.

But tonight, it was just her, in the dark, feeling the pressure, feeling her ends flapping in the breeze.

She did delivery at the Pizza Pit, a long-time Net.ropolis establishment that was the favorite of many LNHers; as such, did a lot of deliveries to LNHQ. A lot of the drivers were scared of the place, but she never had been. The world was a dangerous place; the dangers there were weirder, but not worse, and more importantly, there were people there who made it their mission to make things less dangerous.

She could always feel that danger, in the world around her. It was anxiety, irrational, neurotransmitter-driven anxiety, but it wasn't unfounded. She wished she could just, make a space where it never felt scary, where it felt like it did in her girlfriends' arms, all the time. And then she'd invite them there, and they'd all be happy.

Shirley laid back down, nestling up in her blankets, willing herself back to sleep so she could get up in the morning. And the power of the Universal Office nestled quietly in her limbs, waiting for the moment it, too, would awaken... _______________________________________________________________________________

The morning of April 10th... _______________________________________________________________________________

She wanders through an enormous structure, full of weird, empty rooms with fluorescent lights flickering overhead. When she runs into an open space full of crisscrossing stairwells, she can see above her escapees from Hell with great political power plotting to cast her down.

So she grabs a pillar and rips it away, and they plummet into the abyss, screaming! She rips away another, and the lights shatter and the stairwells fall! She runs around, destroying everything, and eventually comes out into a bright blue morning of happiness!

A girl with green skin blinks in a sunbeam, coming thru the window of her room in LNHQ; she stretches out and yaaaaaawns.

Cadhla (pronounced "Kayla") Armstrong had had it rough for way too long. An orc born in the world known as rec.games.roguelike.nethack, her whole family had fled thru a portal when the forces of the Crossover Queen attacked. They had ended up homeless for a while, but eventually settled with the communities of Shadow People that lived under the streets of Net.ropolis - a difficult life, but a sustainable one, at least in the short term.

But that hadn't been enough for Cadhla - she knew that *somebody* had to make some big change! And after the Catalyzation Wave, she realized she could *be* that somebody! So she joined the LNH as Upheaval Lass! Because she was good at picking stuff up and throwing it!

And she was making money, and she was sending it back home, but she knew she could change even more! And wow! Now there was a whole election she could participate in! She spent so much time talking to her new friends here about it and she was so excited she was gonna puke!!

It was time to get up, brush her tusks, get dressed, and start ripping out the rotting planks of the system!!! _______________________________________________________________________________

Contraption Man woke up from a dreamless sleep, rolling his shoulders, sitting up, working the kinks out. He's been sleeping well lately, despite the election nonsense; after all these years, he's learned to trust the LNH's ability to take care of itself.

He picks up his phone - technology is finally starting to catch up to what he was born with - and scrolls thru his email.

Two minutes later he's out the door and running down the hall in his slippers. Fearless Leader's office, down this way-- he bangs on the door--

FL opens up, confused. Before he can say anything, CM pushes his phone into his hands.

The email that's up is from Taskani, one of Contraption Man's friends from the future. It's just a few lines:

Call me as soon as you can. The Archaeology Team just found out something about the LNH that everyone needs to know. Evidence that the Ultimate Ninja...
was a traitor!

_______________________________________________________________________________

Drew "yes, the dramatic pause was in the email" Nilium

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