This is stupid.
The original version of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” was one of
the most classic films of all time. It was the first full-length traditionally animated film. Its premiere in December 1937 received a standing ovation with many major Hollywood stars in attendance. Over
30,000 fans gathered outside the theater just to be a part of the
event.
And now, Disney is making a live-action version, starring Rachel
Zegler. She’s playing “Snow Diversity;” we can’t see Snow White anymore
because that would be racist, you see. Tiana from Disney’s “The
Princess and the Frog” must remain a black princess forever, but Snow
White cannot be a white princess, even if her literal name is Snow
White because _she has skin as white as snow_. That is the actual line
in the movie. I didn’t make it up. That’s just what the fairy tale is. It’s not called any other color. It’s called Snow White.
But Zegler apparently feels the necessity to crap on the myth and crap
on the original movie. Over the weekend she argued the Prince in Snow
White is actually the bad guy. Here’s what Zegler said:
I mean, you know, the original cartoon came out in 1937, and
very evidently so. There’s a big focus on her love story with
a guy who literally stalks her. Weird! Weird. So we didn’t do
that this time. We have a different approach to what I’m sure
a lot of people will assume is a love story just because, like
we cast a guy in the movie … It’s one of those things that I
think everyone’s going to have their assumptions about what
it’s actually going to be, but it’s really not about the love
story at all, which is really, really wonderful.
“Not about the love story.” It is “wonderful.” Love is superbad. It’s
superbad and the Prince is a creepy “stalker.” Did you know that? You probably didn’t, because if you watch the original movie, you’ll
remember Snow White standing above a well and singing a song where she
says that she wishes for the one she loves to find her _that same day_.
The Prince, standing nearby, responds by finishing her song, which
apparently means he is a creepy “stalker.”
You know what would be better? If he just left her to be dead. She was
lying on the bier with glass over her; she was pretty well-preserved.
He should have just left her alone, and she would have been dead and
everyone would be happy. Not so happy because she’s dead, but he _is_ a creepy stalker, according to Zegler, so perhaps it would have been
better if she had bitten the poisoned apple and died. That way, she’d
never have been kissed and then she’d be dead.
You know who else would be dead? Sleeping Beauty. She’d _still_ be
dead. In fact, there’s a bunch of princesses who would still be dead if
we just abided by #MeToo.
Apparently, even when a woman is in love with a man and even when they
want to be together, the worst thing that could possibly happen is for
him to kiss her while she is dead, to wake her up from being dead.
That’s the worst thing you could do in a myth. The best thing probably would have been for him to come along and just bury her.
But at least the new version is not going to be about love.
Honestly, what is Disney doing? What are they doing? They’re so high on their own supply. It is insane. What do they think the market is for
this?
Who are the parents who will say, “I’m desperate to bring my child to a movie that is not about Snow White, but is in fact about a self-
empowered woman, just like ‘Atomic Blonde’ but for children?”
Disney. Geniuses.
It's going to be absolutely hilarious when this film tanks at the box
office because the publicity put out by its star absolutely sours
everyone on the film. Disney will be out gazillions of dollars and
Zeglar will be struggling to find work doing bad commercials.
Rhino <no_offline_contact@example.com> wrote:
It's going to be absolutely hilarious when this film tanks at the box
office because the publicity put out by its star absolutely sours
everyone on the film. Disney will be out gazillions of dollars and
Zeglar will be struggling to find work doing bad commercials.
The film is going to tank because there's no appetite out there for a
remake of Snow White.
A re-release of the original might do better.
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