• New Filk: Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma

    From Joel Polowin@21:1/5 to All on Fri Dec 22 15:58:46 2023
    I've had this sitting on my virtual desktop for more than a decade,
    getting hauled out to be poked at most Decembers. I think I've finally
    got it into decent shape, but wouldn't mind suggestions. There's one
    bit in particular which... well, I'll bring it up later.

    Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
    TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks

    Chorus:
    Santa got run over by our Grandma
    Dropping off his gifts on Christmas night
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa
    And after this past Christmas, you'd be right

    She'd already lost her license:
    Nearly blind in both her eyes
    Her blood pressure kept on tanking
    She was on parole for seven DUIs

    We'd made sure the keys were hidden
    The car was out of fuel, too
    But she hot-wired the ignition
    And she filled the tank with moonshine that she brewed

    [Chorus]

    Grandma had a reputation
    Santa wasn't her first kill
    It was awkward back in April
    When we peeled the Easter Bunny off her grille

    Grandma used to love tradition
    Where did she go wrong, and why?
    I remember those Octobers
    When she always used to make Great Pumpkin pie

    [Chorus]

    Grandma tried to underplay it
    Said that it was just a goof
    But she clammed up when we asked her
    How she got her big blue Chevy on the roof

    And they told us at the inquest
    That they still were mystified
    Not so much that she had hit him
    But she hit him sev'ral times before he died

    [Chorus]

    -----
    What I'm not satisfied with is the couplet "The car was out of fuel,
    too" / "And she filled the tank with moonshine that she brewed". The
    rhyme is imperfect, and really, I'd prefer something a bit stronger in
    terms of "normal precaution to prevent someone unauthorized from using a vehicle" and "ridiculously implausible way for an enfeebled granny to
    overcome that". What's been lurking and not jelling for me is something
    like
    "and we clamped the steering wheel" or
    "and the steering wheel was clamped", with
    "and she somehow steered it with the parking brake" or
    "and she somehow used the parking brake to steer".

    Some ludicrous method for removing the clamp might do. "She blew the
    clamp away with gelignite" or "she burned the clamp off with a welding
    torch". I still can't figure out how to get a couplet with this stuff,
    and I'd be open to other precaution / solution ideas.

    Any suggestions?

    Thanks,
    Joel

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  • From Arthur T.@21:1/5 to Joel Polowin on Fri Dec 22 22:49:15 2023
    In Message-ID:<3e71b4bd-7d6c-4642-865e-d7322afbcc7c@sympatico.ca>,
    Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

    Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
    TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks

    Nice song.

    What I'm not satisfied with is the couplet "The car was out of fuel,
    too" / "And she filled the tank with moonshine that she brewed".
    <snip>
    Any suggestions?

    A couple of possibilities:

    And a boot was on a wheel
    The way she got it off was just surreal

    Locked the car up with a chain
    But she took an ax and cut it right in twain

    --
    Arthur T. - ar23hur "at" pobox "dot" com

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  • From Arthur T.@21:1/5 to Joel Polowin on Sat Dec 23 00:04:43 2023
    In Message-ID:<3e71b4bd-7d6c-4642-865e-d7322afbcc7c@sympatico.ca>,
    Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

    Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
    TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks

    Chorus:
    Santa got run over by our Grandma
    Dropping off his gifts on Christmas night
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa
    And after this past Christmas, you'd be right

    BTW, a couple of decades ago, Joe Kesselman posted a chorus similar
    to yours, without any indication he was going to do anything further,
    so I did (see Xeno #104). Part of my enjoyment of yours is seeing how
    you went in such a different direction.

    --
    Arthur T. - ar23hur "at" pobox "dot" com

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  • From Gary McGath@21:1/5 to Arthur T. on Sat Dec 23 05:54:12 2023
    On 12/23/23 12:04 AM, Arthur T. wrote:
    BTW, a couple of decades ago, Joe Kesselman posted a chorus similar
    to yours, without any indication he was going to do anything further,
    so I did (see Xeno #104). Part of my enjoyment of yours is seeing how
    you went in such a different direction.


    It sounded vaguely familiar. That explains why.

    --
    Gary McGath http://www.mcgath.com

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  • From Joel Polowin@21:1/5 to Arthur T. on Sat Dec 23 13:27:18 2023
    On 2023-12-23 12:04 AM, Arthur T. wrote:
    In Message-ID:<3e71b4bd-7d6c-4642-865e-d7322afbcc7c@sympatico.ca>,
    Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

    Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
    TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks

    Chorus:
    Santa got run over by our Grandma
    Dropping off his gifts on Christmas night
    You can say there's no such thing as Santa
    And after this past Christmas, you'd be right

    BTW, a couple of decades ago, Joe Kesselman posted a chorus similar
    to yours, without any indication he was going to do anything further,
    so I did (see Xeno #104). Part of my enjoyment of yours is seeing how
    you went in such a different direction.

    Huh. I found the relevant discussion in Google's archive: https://groups.google.com/g/rec.music.filk/c/T9bA0ypa654/m/436flL2htpkJ
    It's certainly possible that that inspired my song; I don't know how far
    back my incomplete version goes.

    "My grandma" fits a bit more smoothly than "our grandma", since "my" is
    a clean single syllable and "our" is more complex ("ow-er"). I'll have
    to think about changing that.

    Joel

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  • From Arthur T.@21:1/5 to Joel Polowin on Sat Dec 23 14:22:14 2023
    In Message-ID:<5582e402-e3d5-49cb-b1ed-b7e6baaed1bc@sympatico.ca>,
    Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

    On 2023-12-23 12:04 AM, Arthur T. wrote:
    In Message-ID:<3e71b4bd-7d6c-4642-865e-d7322afbcc7c@sympatico.ca>,
    Joel Polowin <jpolowin@sympatico.ca> wrote:

    Santa Got Run Over By Our Grandma
    TTO: "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" by Randy Brooks
    <snip>
    BTW, a couple of decades ago, Joe Kesselman posted a chorus similar
    to yours, without any indication he was going to do anything further,
    so I did (see Xeno #104). Part of my enjoyment of yours is seeing how
    you went in such a different direction.

    Huh. I found the relevant discussion in Google's archive: >https://groups.google.com/g/rec.music.filk/c/T9bA0ypa654/m/436flL2htpkJ
    It's certainly possible that that inspired my song; I don't know how far
    back my incomplete version goes.

    Most filking is theft. Intentional theft. We all stole from the
    original song. So I don't think you have to worry yourself about
    whether you got the idea totally on your own or were influenced by
    Joe's chorus. (But if you *want* to worry yourself, don't let me stop
    you.)

    "My grandma" fits a bit more smoothly than "our grandma", since "my" is
    a clean single syllable and "our" is more complex ("ow-er"). I'll have
    to think about changing that.

    I normally pronounce "our" as "ow-er". But when reading your lyric, I
    had no problem slurring it as "are". I concede that some people might
    have a problem, though. After all, a while back there was
    considerable discussion as to how many syllables "vampire" has.

    --
    Arthur T. - ar23hur "at" pobox "dot" com

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  • From Joel Polowin@21:1/5 to Arthur T. on Sun Dec 24 12:54:20 2023
    On 2023-12-23 2:22 PM, Arthur T. wrote:
    Most filking is theft. Intentional theft. We all stole from the
    original song. So I don't think you have to worry yourself about
    whether you got the idea totally on your own or were influenced by
    Joe's chorus. (But if you *want* to worry yourself, don't let me stop
    you.)

    I'm a bit sensitive on the subject of credit and attribution. One of
    the bigger advances in my M.Sc. work came about somewhat indirectly from
    a suggestion from a colleague. In a simulation of atomic interactions,
    there were big discontinuities when the model switched from one
    coordinate system to another. My colleague suggested averaging the
    forces in some way, which wouldn't have improved matters very much. But
    later, when I was thinking about the problem, I realized that using the derivative of the averages of the forces would... and, as it turned out,
    it solved the problem very nicely. By the time I'd completed that work,
    I'd almost completely forgotten about my colleague's original
    suggestion. It was only when we had a paper accepted and about to be
    published that I remembered it, and I mentioned it to my supervisor. He
    was pretty upset with me over the matter, and made it clear that my
    colleague should have been given some kind of credit in the paper.

    The colleague, himself, thought it wasn't a big deal. He'd just made a suggestion for a change which wouldn't have worked. He felt that since
    I'd used that idea as a basis for a much more complex change, and done
    all of the work to implement and test it, his contribution wasn't
    noteworthy. But I've never forgotten the matter.

    (As it turned out, all of my M.Sc. work was essentially made obsolete by
    a paper that was published in a journal that arrived in my department
    library two days before my thesis defense. My work was *valid* but now
    almost entirely irrelevant to the field, though a couple of
    computational techniques I'd developed along the way might still be
    useful. I don't know if my supervisor or anyone on the defense
    committee saw that paper before my defense, but I was sweating over the
    issue until my thesis defense was successfully concluded.)

    Joel

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  • From Joe Kesselman@21:1/5 to All on Sat Feb 3 15:46:24 2024
    Don't worry about it. If you decide I was part of the inspiration I
    wouldn't object to being mentioned/blamed; if you decide you came up
    with it independently (many of us Spoonerize[*] as one of the sources
    for song ideas) I'd believe that too.

    [*] "May I sew you to your sheets?"

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