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  • "The Portlandian" - November 12, 2022 edition

    From Special Duties section@21:1/5 to All on Sun Nov 13 13:09:55 2022
    XPost: alt.fan.tonya-harding, alt.tonya-harding

    TTTTT H H EEEEE
    T H H E
    T HHHHH EEEEE
    T H H E
    T H H EEEEE

    PPPP OOOO RRRR TTTTT L A N N DDDD I A N N TM
    P P O O R R T L A A NN N D D I A A NN N
    PPPP O O RRRR T L AAAAA N N N D D I AAAAA N N N
    P O O R R T L A A N NN D D I A A N NN
    P OOOO R R T LLLLL A A N N DDDD I A A N N

    *****************************************************************
    The Portlandian, the Internet's premier source of Tonya News

    November 12, 2022 Edition - ANNUAL TONYA BIRTHDAY EDITION
    (C) 2022 Portland Ice Skating Society
    http://www.pdxiss.org *****************************************************************

    Greetings, fellow Tonyaphiles, as we welcome you to our annual
    birthday edition of The Portlandian for 2022. Today, we celebrate
    Tonya's 52nd birthday. As usual, we've got a cake, but there's
    also plenty of other stuff, including a full recap of Tonya's
    appearance at The Brew 105.9 FM's Bacon and Beer event, a chance
    to get ahold of some cool Tonya merch (including another Tonya
    truck) and finish off with a special birthday gift from us that
    will enable you to have even more Tonya in your life - and we all
    can do with more of that, right?

    Plus, we bring you an important announcement about something
    we've all been waiting to happen for years. Stay tuned...


    TONYA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

    If you live in the greater Portland area, you're going to have an
    opportunity to celebrate Tonya's birthday in a very special way
    this year - with Tonya herself! She'll be having a party at
    BackRoads in Yacolt on Saturday night - and she would love to
    have you come help her celebrate!

    The Birthday celebration will be from 8:00pm until 11:00pm. They
    have karaoke too, which starts at 9:00pm. Tonya will also be
    selling autographed photos for $20.00 each.

    Tonya also invited the crew from The Brew along as well, but
    unfortunately Tanner, Drew and Laura couldn't make it on such
    short notice. However, we are reliably informed that Casey
    "Beefwater" Bay from the station will be making an appearance in
    his Dick Tracy outfit from Bacon and Beer:

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/11-9-22-7-am-tonyas-birthday

    The address is:

    BackRoads
    303 N. Amboy Ave.
    Yacolt, WA. 98675

    https://www.facebook.com/Backroadsfoodandspirits/

    With Tonya around, you can be sure it will be a fun night!! So
    come along if you can. We'd go ourselves, but we've got the
    slight problem of being in the wrong country. But, in keeping
    with tradition, we do have a cake, which you can see below:

    https://pdxiss.org/images/2022-11-10_TonyaBirthdayCake.jpg

    https://pdxiss.org/images/2022-11-10_TonyaBirthdayCake-candles.jpg

    Although it doesn't show up that well in the photo, the color of
    the icing was designed to pay tribute to the pink color of the
    writing on the "I, Tonya" poster.

    You can see our previous cakes here:

    https://pdxiss.org/cake.htm

    That's the problem with New Zealand. So far from Portland. So
    close to Antarctica.


    BACON AND BEER REDUX

    The big news of the past few weeks has been Tonya's attendance at
    The Brew's Bacon & Beer event that was held at the Wild Hare
    Saloon in Oregon City last month.

    Tonya's appearance was a spectacular success, resulting in one of
    the biggest turnouts for a B&B event ever. In the process she
    raised around $2000 for the Oregon chapter of the Vietnam
    Veterans of America.

    Tanner of The Brew says that there was at least 200 people lined
    up out the door at 6:00am, waiting to get a selfie taken with
    Tonya or get a signed autographed photo of her. He said the
    people adored her, which was evident when the crowd started
    chanting "Tonya, Tonya, Tonya" over and over.

    Entertainment included a chilly-dog suck off contest, and what
    might be euphemistically described as "adult products" vibrating
    their way down a sloping racetrack, with Tonya giving out the
    medal to the winner, which was Laura (her third win at this
    activity).

    Here's the full show if you want to listen to it:

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/tanner-and-drew-full-show-10-14-22

    If you don't have time for the full show, here's the Tonya bits:

    Previews:

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-6-22-8-30-am-talk-backs-bacon-beer

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-11-22-9-30-am-bacon-beer

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-12-22-6-30-am-bacon-beer-preview

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-12-22-9-30-am-talking-with-tonya

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-13-22-6-30-am-talk-backs

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-13-22-8-30-am-final-countdown-to-baco

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-13-22-9-30-am-officiating-the-games

    Bacon and Beer - the event itself:

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-6-30-am-chili-dog-suck-off

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-7-35-am-caseys-court

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-8-am-tonyas-big-entrance

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-8-20-am-more-with-tonya

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-8-30-am-dildo-derby

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-8-50-am-medal-ceremony

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-9-15-am-tonya-talks-to-shawn-br

    Tonya talked with Sean Britt, the guy who claims she was looking
    at him. Not Tonya, but she says that alot of people claim to have
    seen her. Seems that Tonya sightings in PDX are like bigfoot or
    Elvis sightings.

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-9-35-am-meatium

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-14-22-show-close-awards


    Looking back on B and B:

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-18-22-6-30-am-unibrow-mom

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-18-22-7-am-bacon-beer-recap

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-18-22-7-30-am-real-news-or-fake-news

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-18-22-8-am-breaking-down-bacon-beer-p

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-18-22-8-am-breaking-down-bacon-beer-p_1

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/10-18-22-9-30-am-bacon-tacos-karen

    The Brew team have also uploaded several photos to Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjt9Bs4ros9/ (Laura)

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjt6xkwrvDn (Tanner)

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CjtmJCRgSEn/

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CjtPNP1Ps-V/

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjt25icrqzA/ (Drew)

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjs3u0oD6mN/ The Brew

    Casey's Court - a brief Tonya mention at the start:
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CjtgNuGj4x3/

    Another one, from the Wild Hare Saloon's FB page:


    https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=549563650502541&set=a.477990407659866

    A news team from local Fox affiliate KPTV was also on hand, and
    reporter Bonnie Silkman interviewed Tonya, with the cameraman
    desperately trying to avoid getting any of the vibrators in shot. Unfortunately, none of the footage appears to have been posted
    on-line. However, Tanner has posted this short clip which gives
    some idea of what the coverage was like:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjtr18YJiyI/

    Bonnie Silkman has also posted these tweets:

    https://twitter.com/BonnieSilkman/status/1580943233273982978

    https://twitter.com/BonnieSilkman/status/1580965258780631040

    All in all, a stunning success for everybody involved, with Tonya
    indicating she'd be up for doing it again. But there's even
    better news to come...


    A TERRIFIC BIRTHDAY PRESENT

    As we've mentioned above, Tonya invited Tanner, Drew and Laura
    from The Brew to her birthday party, an event they unfortunately
    were unable to attend due to the short notice. However it did
    result in Tonya being invited to phone in to the show on Friday
    (which they mistakenly thought was Tonya's birthday):

    https://www.spreaker.com/user/9808562/11-11-22-9-30-am-tonya-harding-on-the-sh

    They then made a major announcement: that they plan to organize a
    campaign to get Tonya's life ban from the USFSA lifted.

    It doesn't need to be said that if successful this would mean a
    major breakthrough in the restoration of Tonya's place in skating
    history. Currently Tonya is forbidden from skating with USFSA
    skaters in the few skating shows that remain in operation. And
    she also can't be an official "coach of record" (despite all the
    numerous paedos and abusers that the USFSA tolerates as coaches),
    which hinders her ability to earn a living by teaching her skills
    to a new generation of skaters.

    Details are still forthcoming and will be announced on Monday.
    And we'll be the first to report on how you can help make it
    happen!


    TONYA TRUCK - AND MERCH - FOR SALE

    Remember how a couple of years back, Tonya sold her truck? And
    how disappointed you were that you missed out? Well, now you've
    got a second chance at owning a Tonya truck, because she's
    selling another one!

    Unlike the previous one, this one will "need some work" however.
    It's a 1961 Ford F250 unibody with a 6-cylinder engine. We're
    told it has two new front fenders, a new high-gear rear end, all
    its original glass, and it was running when parked. And it's all
    yours for the best offer over the meager sum of three grand.

    You can view it here, at our newly-launched Tonya Merchandise
    page, which brings together links to all of Tonya's official
    merch in one place, just in time for Christmas:

    https://pdxiss.org/merchandise.htm

    For those of us on more modest budgets, there is an assortment of
    other items for sale, including a new range of autographed
    photos. And let's not forget Tonya's range of licensed clothing
    on FanArch, and the opportunity to get a personalized video from
    her on Cameo and Signd.

    And if you do have deep pockets, there are still some of Tonya's
    "Dancing With The Stars" dresses available.

    There - we've just solved your Christmas gift hassles all at
    once. Forget "needs more cowbell" - for us it's "needs more
    Tonya"!


    TONYA ON A PLATE

    A license plate that is. Spotted in Kerhonkson, NY:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CjOtEOFpKv_/

    And it's on a pickup truck, of course!


    TONYAWEEN AND FAN ART ROUNDUP

    And now for our regular roundup of Tonya-themed fan art. It's
    also customary at this time of year to find large numbers of
    people dressing up as Tonya for Halloween, so we'll check those
    out too.

    Unfortunately, the pickings are slim this time around when it
    comes to artwork, with us being able to find only one Tonya-
    related piece this time around. But fortunately lack of quantity
    does not mean lack of quality:

    Kamilla Takacs (camilla.art)
    https://www.instagram.com/p/Chers8Gj4w3/


    Unfortunately the same is true in the opposite direction with
    this year's Tonyaween. While as we're pleased to see that plenty
    of people continue to cosplay as Tonya, the quality has largely
    fallen off a cliff this year, with people returning to the old
    trope of knee-bashing. There are a few good ones, however, that
    are respectful of Tonya:

    First up, some tasty treats (and we're not just talking about the
    food):

    The Spread (thespreadpdx), Portland OR. (no, we don't know how
    the picture from "The Shining" fits in)
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CjYbBf8pYC9/
    It's that time of year again! We are taking orders on custom
    spooky cheese platters. $20 off all seasonal, large party
    platters all month!

    Oh My Nosh LLC (ohmynoshhh) New York City.
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkXJ6F6NkvI/
    All I know is skating (and how to make some damn good silky
    sage butternut squash pasta)


    Vanessa (vanessaverdeaux) - Tonya and Jeff
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkSCBrLMcrI/

    Bri Oglu (brioglu) Los Angles, CA.
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkWY_9LSAUe/
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkWZmL-SQp1/
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkWeCa8SSD2/
    Make sure you look at the second slide for a re-enactment of a
    classic IT scene:

    Kristen Leach (kristenleach) Oklahoma City, OK. Tonya with a
    Nancy
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkUqWdfrEkP/

    Ally Brainard & Jenn Fernald (filmsbycirce) - another Tonya/Nancy
    pair
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CkZWDdNoq3c/

    And a few from years gone by:

    Marina (marinalynbrown) (2021)
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CVtczH2P3Vg/ Tonya/Nancy pair

    A good one from 2019:
    kjominy - https://www.instagram.com/p/B4XbPSplA-N/

    And finally, Lauren Casola (laurencasola) - Nancy with a dog as
    Tonya!
    https://www.instagram.com/p/CVyIDKfpMNp/


    RING, RING, IT'S TONYA!

    As every true Tonyaphile knows, Tonya's proudest skating
    achievement was landing the triple axel at the 1991 U.S.
    Nationals. Now you can be reminded of Tonya's Triple Axel Triumph
    every time your phone rings!

    As a birthday present to Tonyaphiles, we are pleased to announce
    the completely free-of-charge Tonya Triple Axel ringtone, which
    you can download from here:

    http://pdxiss.org/ringtones.htm

    Installing on an Android or Windows phone is a piece of cake:
    just download it and drag it to the Ringtones folder on the
    phone. Then set it as your ringtone, just as you would any other:

    https://www.androidauthority.com/set-own-music-mp3-custom-notification-ringtone-166052/


    https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/mobiledevices/forum/mdlumia-mdsettings/how-to-add-custom-ringtones-on-windows-phone-8/c1614e43-eb7a-4fd5-a79d-8c2b9f6982bc


    iPhones are a bit more complicated, but hey, it wouldn't be Apple
    if it wasn't - they'd rather you buy their overpriced ringtones
    from their crApp Store than use your own. But it is possible.

    - If you have a Mac and are on Catalina or above, you can
    download the file to the computer, plug the phone into the
    computer and drag the file into the phone's General tab in
    Finder. It will then show up in the phone's list of available
    ringtones for you to select.

    - If you're on a Windows computer, or a Mac before Catalina, you
    can download iTunes and use that to drag the ringtone into the
    Tones folder on the plugged-in phone. NOTE: make sure you save
    the downloaded file with an .m4r extension so that the phone will
    recognize it as a ringtone.

    - If you don't have a separate computer, it gets more tricky: you
    have to download the Windows/Android mp3 version directly onto
    the iPhone itself, and then use the free Garageband app to import
    the mp3 file as a clip into a Garageband project, and then export
    it as an iPhone-type ringtone:

    https://apps.apple.com/us/app/garageband/id408709785

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPza3LU_Gfg


    A bit of a hassle for sure, but we're certain you'll agree the
    result - a bit more Tonya in your life - is more than worth it!

    *****************************************************************
    VISIT THESE GREAT TONYA WEB SITES:

    PortIce - http://www.pdxiss.org
    David House - http://www.tonyaharding.org
    Charlie Main - http://www.charliesweb.com/tonya/tonya.html
    Puppetboy - http://www.usapaul.net/tonya/
    Valerie Smith - http://www.olywa.net/radu/valerie/LilHam.html
    Swan Lake - http://members.tripod.com/~TonyaHarding/index.html
    Blades of Gold - http://members.tripod.com/tmhfan/index.html *****************************************************************

    --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
    * Origin: fsxNet Usenet Gateway (21:1/5)
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