XPost: talk.politics.misc, alt.politics.usa, soc.culture
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/06/03/15/85652975-13489069-Meanwhile_a_doormat_in_the_US_came_with_a_hefty_list_of_warnings-m-38_1717425986104.jpg
. . .
HIGH COTTON Gifts
This perfectly fine, if not certainly adequate,
doormat is made in USA from %100 Olefin Indoor/
Outdoor carpet and printed with color-fast inks.
Wash with hose and brush. Dry flat. Do not
machine wash. To best preserve your mat, use
in sheltered area and avoid prolonged exposure
to sunlight and water.
IMPORTANT THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT YOUR
NEW DOORMAT
Warning: Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden
acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury.
When using mat, follow directions : Put your right
foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not
designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000
lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek
shelter and cover head. Caution : If coffee
spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This
mat is not intended to be used as a placemat.
Small food particles trapped in fibers mayd
attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue
mat to porous services, such as pregnant women,
pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat
should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed
with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder).
Do not taunt mat.
HIGH COTTON INC
9 SW Pack Square, Ste 300
Ashville, NC 28801
www.highcotton.com
Made in the U.S.A.
. . .
Yep - real.
Somebody there watches a LOT of Monty Python !
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