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COLUMNISTS
'A Nation in SERIOUS DECLINE': GOP platform is an unhinged all-caps list of Trump lies
The platform is basically a bunch of random capitalized words – PREVENT
WORLD WAR THREE, REBUILD OUR CITIES – generated, I assume, by an authoritarian-leaning AI that was fed a Trump rally transcript.
Rex Huppke
USA TODAY

Great news: The Republican Party is now officially just as weird and drunk- uncle-ish as Donald Trump, the convicted felon the party is rolling out as
its presidential candidate/democracy saboteur.

On Monday, the Republican National Committee's platform committee adopted
the strangest document ever created and declared it the party’s new
official platform. It was less a serious expression of a party’s values and plans for governing and more a reminder that Republicans think actual
policy proposals are for woke ninnies and American voters should just shut
up and let billionaires control things.

The title of the document is: “2024 GOP PLATFORM MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” Yes, there is punctuation – presumably a colon – missing from that title.
And yes, there is an exclamation point at the end of that title, which
should serve as a reminder that this is a wildly unserious political party.

But don’t worry, it gets far, far worse.
RNC platform is an all-caps mess of Trumpian promises
A campaign rally for President Joe Biden on July 4, 2024, in South Haven,
Mich.

The preamble is replete with random capitalizations and other MAGA-inspired assaults on the English language. Take this line, for example: “But now we
are a Nation in SERIOUS DECLINE.”

That “SERIOUS” foreshadows an all-caps 20-point list that makes up the
party platform, letting the reader know that SERIOUS things are ALWAYS
written in ALL CAPS to demonstrate their SERIOUSNESS. (Of note, the
Republican Party abandons its evangelical base by not calling for a
national abortion ban or defining marriage as being strictly between a man
and a woman.)

Project 2025 is horrible:Biden? Harris? I don't care. Stopping Trump and Project 2025 is all that matters.
Trump's GOP platform is heavy on scare tactics, light on details

The 20 "promises” that make up the “2024 GOP Platform to Make America Great Again!” begin with some good old-fashioned dangerous xenophobia and a
promise to sweep across America and round up millions of immigrants:

SEAL THE BORDER, AND STOP THE MIGRANT INVASION
CARRY OUT THE LARGEST DEPORTATION OPERATION IN AMERICAN HISTORY

No. 3 is a simple “END INFLATION, AND MAKE AMERICA AFFORDABLE AGAIN,” which sparks the question: If y’all have some magic beans that will end
inflation, why are you holding on to them?
Leave it to Trump's GOP to randomly capitalize words for no reason

The fourth promise includes an exclamation point, just to remind readers
this is all very stupid: MAKE AMERICA THE DOMINANT ENERGY PRODUCER IN THE WORLD, BY FAR!

There’s the usual anti-woke gibberish, like CANCEL THE ELECTRIC VEHICLE
MANDATE and KEEP MEN OUT OF WOMEN’S SPORTS.

Democrats need to do more:Biden's attempt to save his campaign and
presidency was too underwhelming for the moment

Otherwise, the actual platform of a party that thinks it should be trusted
with governing is basically a bunch of randomly capitalized words – PREVENT WORLD WAR THREE, REBUILD OUR CITIES – generated, I assume, by an authoritarian-leaning artificial intelligence that was fed a Trump rally transcript.
Surely, this party platform is missing a few items Trump wants
Former President Donald Trump at his criminal trial in New York City on May
28, 2024.

What struck me most, though, was the absence of promises I’m sure Trump
himself wanted to get in there. Stuff like CANCEL ALL FUTURE VOTING CUZ
IT'S DUM and CUT FEDERAL FUNDING FOR ANY SCHOOL THAT DOES NOT TEACH
STUDENTS THAT DONALD TRUMP WON THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION AND IS THE
BEST PRESIDENT OF ALL TIME.

But that's neither here nor there.

What matters is that this sub-kindergarten gibberish is what Democrats are running against. Should they get around to deciding whether President Joe
Biden is too old to be their nominee, they've got a decent chance of
winning because a lot of Americans think stuff like "STOP THE MIGRANT
INVASION" is fearmongering nonsense.
Unlike Republican Party and Trump, Democratic Party shows maturity in considering Biden's future

The very fact that Democrats are hashing out Biden's future following his woeful presidential debate performance shows the party is approximately 9 billion times more serious than the GOP.

Look at it this way:

Biden showed his age during one debate, and it launched widespread
Democratic soul-searching and consideration of the future.

Trump lost the last presidential election, got convicted of multiple crimes
and spews hateful rhetoric like an angry sprinkler. What do Republicans do? They embrace him and let him dictate a party platform that effectively
says: "I CANS HAS LIBERTY!"

We'll know soon enough whether Biden will continue as the Democratic standard-bearer. Until then, look over the platform that the other side is promoting.

It'll make you wonder if they're really up to the job.

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